Chef Geoffrey Zakarian
runs restaurants,
frequently appears
on TV, and has his
own line of food and
kitchen products. (Aaron Lockwood)
These days, place settings at your dinner table might look like this: a knife, fork, spoon—and cell phone. You might watch television as you eat.
You’re missing the key to a good meal, says renowned chef Geoffrey Zakarian: family.
Mr. Zakarian learned this lesson at a young age. He grew up in Worcester, Massachusetts, with a Polish American mother and Armenian American father.
“Being Middle Eastern, all we did was cook,” he said. “At breakfast, we’re talking about lunch with our mouths full. At lunch, we’re talking about dinner with our mouths full. It was a never-ending circle.”
Mr. Zakarian saw that a meal was about more than just good food. It was the glue that bonded his family.
“It created a shared devotion around the table,” he said. His love of food and its effect on family eventually led to his calling as a chef.
(Aaron Lockwood)
Fighting Hunger in the City
Mr. Zakarian is not only a prolific chef and restaurateur—whose ventures have included restaurants in New York, Connecticut, Los Angeles, and Florida, where he now lives—but also a long-standing television personality, known for his appearances on the Food Network as an Iron Chef, a recurring judge on “Chopped,” and a co-host on “The Kitchen.”
He’s also worked for years with City Harvest, a New York food rescue organization that has distributed an incredible 80 million pounds of food this year to New Yorkers in need. He’s served as chairman of the NGO’s Food Council since 2014.
City Harvest rescues much of its food because of something that might surprise you: expiration dates. “This would not be possible unless a terrible legislation for expiration dates was created. That created a false foundation where we have to throw food out [after its sell-by date] and can’t sell it,” Mr. Zakarian said. “City Harvest came along and said, ‘We’ll take it, and, in less than 24 hours, we can distribute it.’”
When asked how much of the “expired” food the charity gets is still edible, the chef has a stunning answer: “One hundred percent.”
City Harvest receives donations of surplus food from nearly 2,000 businesses, including farms, grocers, restaurants, wholesalers, and manufacturers. But Mr. Zakarian makes sure to distribute healthy food, shopping as carefully as he would for his own family.
Mr.Zakarian attends a City Harvest event in New York City, June 19, 2018. (Getty Images for City Harvest)
“Nothing with high fructose corn syrup. We’re very picky [about] what we take. Fifty percent of what we give away are fresh vegetables,” he said.
City Harvest trucks then deliver the food free of charge to more than 400 food pantries, soup kitchens, and other community food programs across the city. “It’s a very fulfilling process for everyone,” he said. “If you talk to any of the drivers, they’re so happy with what they do. They get paid to make people happy and live better; they give away food all day. What a great way to live.”
The organization holds several fundraisers throughout the year, including an annual fall food tasting that will be held on October 29 this year, at The Glasshouse in New York. Last year’s event raised enough to feed 4 million people.
The Next Generation
As a father of three, Mr. Zakarian has taken his own childhood experience of sharing a meal at the table and passed down the tradition. On any day he’s home, he makes it a point to cook breakfast for daughters Anna and Madeline and son George.
They’ve picked up Dad’s love of cooking. Anna and Madeline published a cookbook called “The Family That Cooks Together” in 2020, when they were 12 and 14, respectively. They also helped start a Junior Food Council for City Harvest that year.
Want to teach your kids to cook? Mr. Zakarian says it only takes one thing.
“Smells. This is why there’s a failure in modern cuisine, that minimalist cuisine: If nothing has a smell, it’s not memorable. Every memory you have of food is the smell.”
Chef Geoffrey Zakarian with his family. (Courtesy of Geoffrey Zakarian)
Mr. Zakarian says nothing draws a kid into the kitchen more than the aroma of something delicious. “You don’t have to ask kids to do anything. They’ll smell something, come by, and say, ‘What’s that, Mom?’ And she’ll say, ‘Well here, try it.’ I’ll say, ‘Do you want to help?’ ‘Sure.’ It’s not forcing them to do anything. It’s the memory of the smells and the clanging of pots and pans.”
Spreading the Joy
He’s also passionate about bringing those memories to other families. His cookware line, launched under Zakarian Hospitality, is designed to “make life better for the average person at home,” he said. He doesn’t focus on obscure items you might use once every 10 years, but basic, good-quality cooking tools you’ll need every day.
His television appearances aim to do the same. “I love these shows because they show people how to nourish their families,” he said. “When people watch a competition show, they love the competition, but at the end of the day, it is captivating their memory with things they want to try.” He calls it “nourishment of the stomach, but also nourishment of the soul.”
As a chef, Mr. Zakarian focuses on what he calls the Mediterranean basket, the diet from Greece and Italy. At his restaurants, “I make menus for food that I enjoy,” he said. “I just try to make food yummy for myself, and if I like it, I would say that 99 percent of my customers will like it.”
But whether he’s cooking for customers or his kids at home, his philosophy is the same.
“If you have everyone sitting around the table, that’s the real joy, that’s where everything happens—all the glances, the looks, the nuanced conversation that comes out,” he said. “If you can get them to the table, that’s the real reward.”
9 Questions for Geoffrey Zakarian
Comfort food? Steak frites.
Most beloved kitchen tool? Paring knife.
3 ingredients you can’t live without? Sea salt, chardonnay vinegar, anchovies.
Underrated ingredient? Miso.
Go-to easy but impressive dish to cook for someone? Spaghetti with lemon.
Daily wellness rituals? Work out five times a week. Don’t skip breakfast. Eat grass-fed beef, full-fat yogurt, fruits, berries. Big fan of honey and dates instead of sugar.
Favorite hobby when you’re not cooking? Golf.
Best advice for home cooks? Start learning to cook with breakfast. Eat your mistakes.
John Delony
believes that anxiety
is a normal reaction
to something that
has gone wrong.
The key is knowing
how to tackle it in a
positive way. (Courtesy of John Delony)
Over the years, John Delony has found his calling in “sitting with people,” whether that’s counseling distraught students, comforting grieving parents, or advising brokenhearted husbands or wives.
“I want people’s days to be a little more peaceful after they’ve interacted with me than before,” he said.
On “The Dr. John Delony Show,” which reaches 200,000 weekly listeners, he offers advice to callers in difficult situations: the man who has secretly cheated on his wife for years; the middle-aged woman who’s never had a real friend. Mr. Delony listens deeply. But he also interrupts people and dishes out, as needed, tough love or encouragement. The advice is usually simple. Putting it into action is usually hard—but then again, so is taking no action at all.
“I’m probably the most hopeful person you’re going to find,” Mr. Delony said. He has counseled parents who have lost their children in tragic circumstances—and witnessed their resilience and growth as they later helped bereaved parents in similar situations.
“We spent so many years talking about post-traumatic stress that we have completely not talked about the other side of that teeter-totter, which is post-traumatic growth—the extraordinary things people do on the back end of tragic moments and seasons. And so I believe in our collective ability to do really hard things.”
On his show, Mr. Delony takes calls from listeners and gives them the advice they need. (Courtesy of John Delony)
Anxiety Is a Smoke Alarm
In his new book, “Building a Non-Anxious Life,” Mr. Delony tackles the subject of anxiety and outlines its main triggers: loneliness and disconnection from family, friends, or community; sensing you’re unsafe; an unhealthy, sleep-deprived, or overstimulated body; dealing with trauma or other concerns; and a lack of autonomy or freedom in your life.
Polls and studies indicate increasing levels of anxiety. An annual poll conducted by the American Psychiatric Association from May 2023 assessing people’s feelings about current events found that 70 percent of adult respondents said they felt anxious or extremely anxious about keeping themselves or their families safe—an increase of 6 percent over 2020. That same month, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued an advisory calling “our epidemic of loneliness and isolation … an underappreciated public health crisis.”
Parting ways with the more conventional viewpoint that “everybody’s increasingly more and more broken,” Mr. Delony redefines anxiety as a normal function that alerts us to something gone wrong.
“We have innate safety mechanisms,” he explained. “Our bodies know when we’re not safe. Our bodies know when we’re lonely.” When your marriage, relationship with your kids, or financial life is on the rocks, your body knows it.
He compares anxiety to a smoke alarm that alerts you when a fire’s burning. And the first step to putting it out is to acknowledge the fire.
An Old Roadmap
When you picture anxiety, you might think of someone drowning his or her sorrows in a few pints of beer at the bar. But people can resort to coping through different unhealthy mechanisms: the unrelenting pursuit of status and money (which can look like success on the surface); out-of-control shopping sprees; getting into fights; doomscrolling on social media; and endless worrying, among many other behaviors.
But there are positive ways to go from a reality check to a peaceful life. Those entail cultivating a life filled with connection with others, autonomy (including being debt-free), mindfulness, good health, and a belief in something higher than ourselves. It seems like common sense, but as Mr. Delony points out, in an age of self-actualization where “people chase the best feeling possible,” these principles are not always popular.
(Courtesy of John Delony)
Mr. Delony’s book is partly dedicated to his grandparents, David and Addell Delony, who were married for 73 years and raised four children in their 900-square-foot house. During their long marriage, they were firmly anchored in a faith community. Their home was peaceful and devoid of anxiety—though they certainly faced difficulties, such as living through the Great Depression.
“They had a tiny house and they didn’t have new clothes. But when he died, it turned out he had a whole bunch of money he left my grandmother so that she could get the care that she needed in her final days,” Mr. Delony said.
“It wasn’t about getting a bunch of money, the newest technology, or flashy things. It was about getting up and doing the same thing over and over every day, and loving those closest to you and being a member of a community and neighborhood,” Mr. Delony said. “And it’s a pretty remarkable road map.”
His Own Journey
Mr. Delony is no stranger to anxiety, and he has been transparent about his own struggles and how he’s worked to heal himself. He grew up poor and, for many years, earned many academic degrees—markers of status and security—and accumulated massive debt. In certain seasons of his life, work came first, while he fell into old patterns of neglecting his family, friends, and his own health.
For example, there was a time when his young daughter refused to hug him. At first, the way she ducked away was cute, but her persistent behavior became cause for concern. He didn’t yell at home, and he wasn’t threatening, so he was puzzled. But he came to realize, thanks to his wife’s gentle counsel, that the “nuclear reactor in his chest” was affecting his daughter. Kids can, in effect, absorb our feelings—hidden though they may be.
Mr. Delony often talks about the importance of parents and mentors as models, and he knew that he had to do the inner work and get some counseling.
(Courtesy of John Delony)
“If you are surrounded by loving, caring parents and grandparents, extended family, and a community that you can feel has your best interest at heart, that is the soil from which inner wisdom is born,” he said.
Mr. Delony and his daughter now enjoy a close relationship, but he has become more conscious about his priorities and what he needs to do to recharge, including spending time with family, getting outdoors with guy friends, and going to a spiritual counselor.
We live in a time and age where there is no shortage of anxiety, or “smoke alarms” going off, whether in real life or online. Contemplating the state of our world through our screens can be especially paralyzing. When Mr. Delony looks at the divisive barbs that fly on social media, he said, “I don’t see a path forward for us unless we can re-engage the ability to sit down with people and laugh and carry on and have very different beliefs about certain things.”
But when it comes to our influence over our relationships and our community, the old road map his grandparents passed down held true then and holds true now. It provides a time-tested path “to make our neighborhoods better, to make our families better,” Mr. Delony said. “We’re gonna start there.” On the road of life, what better place to start, indeed?
“History, to me, is so easy to sell,” said Brian Kilmeade. “If it’s done with passion, you can’t say that it’s boring and uninteresting.”
Most people know Mr. Kilmeade as co-host of the Fox News morning show “Fox & Friends.” He’ll be the first to tell you he loves his job. But his passion is history. Mr. Kilmeade is the author of eight books, all related in some way to American history. His first two, written more than 15 years ago, are sports-related. His last six, however, discuss more serious historical matters.
Mr. Kilmeade has written about George Washington’s spy ring, Thomas Jefferson’s war against the Barbary pirates, Andrew Jackson and the Battle of New Orleans, Sam Houston and the Texas Revolution, the relationship between Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass, and, most recently, the relationship between Theodore Roosevelt and Booker T. Washington. Although the first four focused on American military history, the tune changes slightly in his last two offerings. He suggests that the change is more incidental than predetermined.
“I’m just trying to move through time, and I got to the Civil War,” he said. “It was really about [Lincoln and Douglass] and how they got through that rough time together. Their partnership was way too short, but very effective. Then we had Reconstruction, then the falling apart of Reconstruction, then the 20th century, and then in comes Jim Crow, and I thought how do I move through time and tell the story between two people.”
Mr. Kilmeade said he had read Washington’s autobiography “Up from Slavery” before he settled on writing about Lincoln and Douglass. The book captivated him, and then he learned that Theodore Roosevelt had been just as taken by Washington’s writing.
Theodore Roosevelt speaking at National Business League. (Public Domain)
Roosevelt and Washington: Self-Made Men
“After Teddy Roosevelt did what I did (that’s my only comparison with Teddy Roosevelt, I promise) and read ‘Up from Slavery,’ [he] gave it to his wife, who couldn’t put it down. And she said, ‘We have to meet this guy,’” Mr. Kilmeade said. “The first time they met was April 1, 1901. They immediately knew they could help each other.”
Roosevelt and Washington, despite growing up in vastly different environments, had something important in common, Mr. Kilmeade explained. They were both self-made men.
Washington, as his autobiography suggests, was born a slave nine years before the end of the Civil War. After emancipation, his family moved to West Virginia, where he worked in a salt furnace and a coal mine. Desiring an education, he traveled, mainly on foot, to Hampton Normal and Agricultural Institute (now Hampton University) in 1872. He was provided a job as a janitor to pay his room and board, and a benefactor paid for his education. After graduating in 1875, he went back to West Virginia to teach for two years. He returned to university for eight months at Wayland Seminary in the nation’s capital. He joined the staff at Hampton, but he was soon selected to lead a new school in Alabama: the Tuskegee Normal School (now Tuskegee University), an institution to train African American teachers. Under his guidance, the school grew exponentially. Washington went on to write 40 books, became a prolific speaker, and assembled a network of some of the nation’s most powerful people, including Andrew Carnegie, J.P. Morgan, and Teddy Roosevelt.
Roosevelt was born to an uncertain fate. Plagued by illness, including asthma, the future president was not expected to live very long. His father advised him, “You have the mind but you have not the body. You must make your body.” Roosevelt began a lifelong undertaking of sporting challenges, including hunting, hiking, boxing, and exploration. Roosevelt, along with his speeches, wrote 45 books, and he became one of the most influential politicians in American history.
A portrait of Booker T. Washington photographed by Christopher Ethelbert Cheyne in 1903. (Public Domain)
Keeping the Path
Seven months after their first meeting, Washington was invited to dine with Roosevelt and his family at the White House. It was the first time a black person had ever dined at the White House, and the only time for a long period afterward due to political and social backlash. This backlash came primarily from the Southern press and politicians.
“In their case, they changed their strategy, but they didn’t change their relationship,” Mr. Kilmeade said. “Roosevelt was totally shocked by it. But they kept their path together. They would have done more if they thought America was ready for it.”
Mr. Kilmeade explained that both Roosevelt and Washington continued to help each other’s causes. Whether it was Roosevelt assisting Washington’s pursuit for educational progress within the black community, or Washington assisting Roosevelt in obtaining the black vote for reelection, the two forged a bond that, as Mr. Kilmeade’s book suggests, cleared a path for racial equality.
The topic of Mr. Kilmeade’s two latest books is the idea of racial equality. He believes the topic is timely for a moment where “we seem to be more obsessed with race in this country, now more than ever.”
The four crew members of the
Artemis II mission to the moon
(clockwise from top left): Christina Koch, Victor Glover, Jeremy Hansen, , and commander Reid Wiseman. (NASA)
On December 14, 1972, surrounded by darkness and light and standing where only 11 others had ever stood before, Gene Cernan became the last person to walk on the moon. As he prepared to depart, he announced over the radio, “As we leave the moon at Taurus-Littrow, we leave as we came, and God willing, as we shall return, with peace and hope for all mankind.”
Cernan, commander of the Apollo 17 mission, died in 2017 and never got to witness another return to the moon. That hope of returning, however, remains very much alive at NASA, and with the Artemis missions, mankind will once again take that giant leap to the moon.
Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon during the Apollo 11 mission in 1969. (NASA)
The Artemis Missions
The first of the Artemis missions took place on November 16, 2022, with the unmanned Orion spacecraft traveling more than 1.4 million miles over the course of 25 days. The spacecraft traveled thousands of miles beyond and around the moon before it reentered the Earth’s atmosphere at nearly 25,000 miles per hour, finally splashing down into the Pacific Ocean.
The next mission, Artemis II, is scheduled for a 10-day flight around the moon in November 2024 with a crew of four: mission commander Reid Wiseman, pilot Victor Glover, mission specialist Christina Koch, and the Canadian Space Agency’s mission specialist Jeremy Hansen. For the Americans, it will be a return to space, but even for them, humanity has never gone this far away from Earth before. The Artemis II mission could break the record for distance traveled during a manned space flight.
(NASA)
“It will depend on where the Earth-moon system is when we launch,” said Mr. Wiseman, who has been a NASA astronaut since 2009. Apollo 13 currently holds the record, at 249,205 miles from Earth; Artemis II could end up reaching 10,000 miles farther. “Hopefully a year later, we will eclipse it again, and a year after that we will eclipse it again,” he said of future NASA missions.
The Artemis II mission is the beginning of what is expected to be not just a return to the moon, but eventually, the establishment of a base camp on the lunar surface, and a future trip to Mars. NASA’s goals are lofty, and Wiseman believes that those goals are not just achievable, but inevitable.
“I think we are definitely looking at humankind living on the moon, living on Mars, getting out into the solar system,” he said. “If you look back at what humans have done on Earth, we can’t sit still as a group of beings. We are restless and we are very inquisitive. I think we will always look at the moon and want to go there. And for those of us who find Mars in the night sky, we want to go there. I would love to go to the moons of Saturn and wake up in my living room and see the rings of Saturn in the morning. I think that is just where we are headed. We are never going to quit.”
Chef Lidia Bastianich cooks up a quick pasta at her home in Queens, New York. (Samira Bouaou for American Essence)
At her home in Queens, New York, Lidia Bastianich cooks with a view of the water. Opposite her sprawling kitchen and dining table, wall-to-wall windows look out over her garden to the idyllic Little Neck Bay, where sailboats bob serenely under blue skies.
Here is where the Italian refugee turned James Beard and Emmy Award-winning chef, restaurateur, TV personality, and author raised her children and her grandchildren; where she taught Julia Child how to make risotto; where she filmed the PBS shows that introduced millions of Americans to traditional Italian home cooking, inviting them around her table with her signature phrase: “Tutti a tavola a mangiare!” “Everyone to the table to eat!”
“I feel very American, and I feel very Italian here,” Ms. Bastianich told American Essence on a recent visit. There’s the proximity to the water, what drew her to buy the house in the first place 38 years ago—“since I came from the Adriatic, my dream was always water,” she said—and the garden lined with Italian fig and lemon trees, rosemary and wild fennel, grape trellises, and potted tomatoes—all echoes of the Mediterranean. “And at the same time,” she said, “I see the Empire State Building from my house.”
A perfectly ripe fig from Ms. Bastianich’s backyard. (Samira Bouaou for American Essence)
It’s a dual identity that she’s embraced from a young age. When she was 10, she and her family fled their home in communist-occupied Istria, a peninsula in northeastern Italy handed over to Yugoslavia in the aftermath of World War II. They waited two years in a refugee camp in Trieste, Italy, before finding freedom in America in 1958.
Since then, Ms. Bastianich has built her own version of the American Dream: a veritable culinary empire dedicated to sharing her cultural heritage with her new home. It has spanned several restaurants with her former husband, Felice, and now her children, Joe and Tanya; 25 years on air with more than a dozen companion cookbooks; a partnership in opening Eataly, an Italian food emporium, in New York and locations across the United States; and her own lines of pastas, sauces, and cookware.
She’s also made it her mission to champion the place that took her in and gave her the opportunity to succeed: “There’s no better country in the whole world,” she said. For an ongoing series of annual, hour-long specials, “Lidia Celebrates America,” she travels to meet, cook with, and share the stories of inspiring people across the country.
And at 76, Ms. Bastianich has hardly slowed down. Her latest cookbook, “Lidia’s From Our Family Table to Yours,” was released in September. The 11th season of her PBS show “Lidia’s Kitchen” premiered in October, and a special, “25 Years With Lidia: A Culinary Jubilee,” will premiere nationally on December 18 at 8 p.m. EST. Squeezing in our interview on a brief day home between travels—next, to Canada, for her book tour—she talks at the confident, no-nonsense clip of a matriarch and businesswoman who knows how to get things done, and fast.
What keeps her going? “I love what I do,” she said matter-of-factly. And indeed, she softens, both tone and expression taking on a grandmotherly warmth, when she speaks about her passions: food, family, and how the two have always been intertwined in her work and life. She spoke with American Essence about her immigrant journey, her sense of responsibility to her adopted home, and the extraordinary power of sharing a meal.
The following interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.
Ms. Bastianich harvests her homegrown fennel. (Samira Bouaou for American Essence)
American Essence: What are your strongest food memories associated with the different places in your life’s journey—from your birthplace of Pola, Istria [now Pula, Croatia], to the refugee camp in Trieste, and finally, to America?
Lidia Bastianich: I have to go back to when I was born: 1947, after the war. The Paris Treaty was in the same month, February, and the border came down: Trieste was given to Italy, and Istria and Dalmatia were given to the newly formed communist Yugoslavia.
We grew up in a country of radical change. Once the communists came, you could not speak Italian, they changed our name, we couldn’t go to church. My mother was a schoolteacher; my father was a mechanic, and he had two trucks. They took the trucks and deemed him a capitalist; they put him in jail for it. So life wasn’t that easy. Even food was scarce. My grandmother, who was in a little town, Busoler, outside of Pola, she raised food and animals to feed the whole family, so my mother took my brother and me out of the city and put us with Grandma. And I think that’s where my first basic food connections happened.
Ms. Bastianich around age 5. (Courtesy of Lidia Bastianich)
With my grandmother, we had chickens, we had ducks, we had geese, we had rabbits, we had goats, we had pigs, we had pigeons. Now and then it was a chicken that went into the pot, then it was a rabbit, then it was a pigeon. I would be feeding these animals. In the springtime, the rabbits loved clover, so I would go and harvest clover in the woods. We would milk the goats, make ricotta. We had two pigs every year, and slaughter was in November, so you had to feed them to get them nice and fat. After the slaughter, we made the sausages, the prosciutto, the bacon.
The garden was the extension of the house—we had the immediate vegetable garden, and then we had a little wheat field. We had olive trees. I was involved in harvesting the olives in November when the olive oil was made; I remember I would dip the bread in there and taste it. The wheat didn’t get all milled at once; Grandma kept the wheat kernels in a cantina, and she would go to the mill every month or two. We would brine the vegetables and the fruits for the winter; we’d pickle cabbage.
Everything had a season: the wild asparagus in spring, the nettles, and then, in the fall, the mushrooms and the squash. I helped my grandmother work the land, so I was aware when things would blossom. I was in tune. The small baby peas, Grandma let them grow because she would get more when it’s a mature pea, but as I would go and collect them, I ate them. I used to chew on the pods; they’re sweet, too. The figs, in August when they were plentiful, we would dry them in the sun so we would have them in the winter. I was involved in all of this—and not because she wanted to teach me, but because I was there as a little helper, that’s just the way it was. My grandmother would say, “Go get some rosemary,” and I would run to the rosemary bush, or to the bay leaves. I grew up with all of that. I knew all the smells, and that stayed with me. When you’re in your formative years, that stays with you.
Ms. Bastianich harvests sprigs of fresh rosemary from her garden. (Samira Bouaou for American Essence)
But the real recall moment for me came in 1956. I was 10 years old. When the border went down in Trieste, some of my family was left on the Italian side. Supposedly, my aunt [in Trieste] wasn’t feeling well, so my mother and my brother and I went to visit her. They wouldn’t let the whole family go; they held someone as hostage because they knew we wouldn’t come back [otherwise]. The three of us went. The aunt was fine. But two weeks later, at night, my father appeared: He’d escaped the border. Then I realized that I’m not going to go back to see my grandmother. That’s when I really felt that need: I wanted to be connected, and food and smell built that connection. I think that my love and passion for food, my connection with food, goes back to those memories of wanting to be connected with Grandma, who I didn’t know when I was going to see. So I would cook things that I remembered with my aunt, the flavors that my grandmother was cooking.
We didn’t have Italian papers because we were under communism, so my parents went to the police and asked for asylum. For two years, we were in a political refugee camp, awaiting where to go. I remember in camp, we had a little cubby hole, and we had beds on top of each other.
I would recall all the beautiful times I had with Grandma that I maybe couldn’t have anymore, and I think that’s why it’s so embedded; it’s so vivid even to this day. People say, “Gee, Lidia, you remember the details.” I do, because I recalled them so many times in those years. Even when I came to the United States, the excitement of being free and having your own home and the greatness of America—still, your roots are your roots.
Family photos line the walls of Ms. Bastianich’s New York home of 38 years. (Samira Bouaou for American Essence)
AE: After you came to America, how did your experiences with food change?
Ms. Bastianich: [I remember] the excitement of American food. The Twinkies. Hostess. Jell-O. I’d never had a grapefruit. All these foods—they’re delicious! When we settled, my mother worked late, so she would leave me to do the dinner, and every night [I made] a cake. Those pre-mixes—I couldn’t get enough of them! I was watching the Ed Sullivan show, Elvis Presley, all of that. I wanted every single thing that was American; I wanted to become American as soon as I could. We didn’t speak English when we came, but my brother and I, within a year, we began to.
Then, of course, as I went on into my profession, I realized that maybe the connection to real food was the way it’s supposed to be. Big industry took a lot of liberties with creating our foods. What is amazing is that from my formative years to my professional years, I reverted back to what we did [in Busoler] and how important it was. It’s like 360 degrees, now and then. I think us chefs, we have a big role to play, and I think that’s why with my show and my books, I feel that I share the authenticity that I grew up with.
AE: In addition to your regular show, your series of specials celebrates America. How did the idea for these specials come about?
Ms. Bastianich: I wanted to share my gratitude and my curiosity in understanding America better from my point of view, having been a young immigrant, having been given the opportunity to come to America. America has been sort of knocked down. You’ve got to rally against this. So it’s my way, as an immigrant, of telling Americans, “Listen, there’s no better country, I can tell you that.”
Food opens all the doors. Food is a common denominator, no matter what culture you are: You sit at the table, you begin to cook together, and you become friends. And when you talk with food, the conversation is mellow. So I use food to sort of penetrate messages.
I did two veteran specials, because I don’t think people realize how our soldiers are out there giving their lives to protect our freedom. I visited with veterans, and we cooked together. I did one thanking all the first responders.
The last one was on immigrants, because I think immigrants are maligned now, but we’re all immigrants. I went around to different ethnic communities: I went to South Carolina, to a Ukrainian son and mother; then I went to Houston, to the Afghan community. My Vietnamese friend Christine Ha, she’s a blind chef, she was born here but her parents were from Vietnam. She says, “At home, I was Vietnamese, but outside, I was American.” As an immigrant, you’re lucky enough to have these cultures on top of being an American.
America is made out of different ethnicities: It’s like a quilt, and it’s beautiful, and it’s strong. And what’s amazing about this is that within this context, we can all be who we are culturally: We can practice our religion, speak our language, sing our songs, have our social gatherings.
A scene from Ms. Bastianich’s latest PBS special, “Lidia Celebrates America: Flavors That Define Us.” (Meredith Nierman for GBH/Tavola Productions)
But what immigrants need to also understand is that they’re given this great opportunity, and you need to take opportunities that you think fit, and you need to work hard at that. You need to make it happen, and really be responsible, and at the end, you need to give back to this country. [In the special] there’s this family from Bhutan, where they were persecuted, so they were in Nepal as immigrants for over 18 years. When they came here, he [Bhuwan Pyakurel] was still a young man. He ultimately became an assemblyman for his community [in Reynoldsburg, Ohio].
You have to become part of society, and you have to appreciate it. Certainly, I feel that way: As an immigrant, I feel very grateful for the opportunities that my family was given. In turn, I had my children here, my grandchildren, and I never stopped telling them that. I took them back to the refugee camp and the trip that I took—and not just I, but many other people, whether from Europe, from Africa, from Asia, to escape dire conditions. What parents do to better the lives of their children! Kids need to know, immigrants need to understand the gifts that they’ve been given and make the most of it.
AE: You’ve written a new cookbook of your own family’s favorite recipes, in part a tribute to your late mother, Erminia Motika, known to your family and fans as “Grandma.” Can you talk about who she was to you?
Ms. Bastianich: My mother passed away two years ago at 100. We lived together; she lived upstairs, I lived down. She was matriarch. She helped me raise my children, and in turn, we helped to raise my children’s children. They all remember her vividly—we all do.
When you think about this woman, 30-some years old with two young children, going into the world not speaking the language, not having anybody in the States, not having money—how much strength it took for her and my father to do that so that our lives could be better. She was a strong woman who appreciated, loved America. She realized what America could be to her family. She was the pole that held everything together.
Nothing was done without Grandma, so she automatically came right into the shows and articles; the viewers loved her. People said, “She’s my grandma, she’s the grandma I lost.” She became kind of everyone’s grandma. We still give her a tribute, I want her in the show: At the end, we have little clips where we sing together, and people love that.
(L–R) Ms. Bastianich; her mother’s companion, Giovanni Bencina; her former husband, Felice Bastianich; her mother, Erminia Motika; and her daughter, Tanya Bastianich Manuali gather in her home kitchen in this old photo. (Courtesy of Lidia Bastianich)
AE: What upcoming projects are you most excited about?
Ms. Bastianich: The continuation of my show. I pulled back a little bit from the restaurants—my kids are running the restaurants, and I have new projects going on. I have more freedom. We’re just finishing my 25-year special, and then I’m working on another book. The next one is all about pasta: fresh pasta, dried pasta, making it, cooking it. I’m excited about it.
AE: What is the most important life advice you want to pass on to your grandchildren, and other young people?
Ms. Bastianich: Eating together at the table is an extraordinary place to be. Because when you’re eating, your defenses are down, you can talk. As human beings, we’re smart, we’re defensive, we are protective. But when we’re eating, that’s one of the few things that we take into our bodies—food—and our defenses are going to be down to take it in. Especially when parents want to talk to children about life, the table is the ideal place because children are open, are receptive, and they’re taking in what you’re saying, too. You don’t need to make a festive meal. A nice plate of pasta, it’ll get people to the table.
Thanksgiving 2017 at Ms. Bastianich’s home, with all of her grandchildren. (Courtesy of Lidia Bastianich)
Lidia’s Loves
Three ingredients you’d bring to a deserted island: Olive oil, pasta, and garlic
One thing you do every morning: Make a cappuccino
Someone you’d most like to cook with: My maternal grandmother
Favorite hobby when you’re not cooking: Sailing
Favorite way to relax: Listening to classical music
Best advice you’ve ever received: Be humble, listen well, and take a pause before responding
Thanksgiving at Lidia’s
For Lidia Bastianich, Thanksgiving is a holiday about “celebrating the country that took us in,” she said. Her family gathers in her New York home, joined by a few regulars who have no family of their own and have been part of the Bastianich holiday celebrations for years.
“We fill the whole house,” Ms. Bastianich said—and of course, she does the cooking. “For me, cooking for 20, 30 people? Not a big deal.”
The meal starts with a “never-ending” antipasto buffet: “We like fish, so it’s octopus, it’s mussels, it’s calamari, it’s baccala. … And then, of course, all the cold cuts—mortadella, prosciutto, gorgonzola, parmigiana. Then all the cured olives and roasted peppers, lots of roasted vegetables, salads, a lot of greens, cured anchovies, mozzarella.”
Then comes a soup or pasta course (“We make it a little Italian,” Ms. Bastianich said) followed by the turkey with all the fixings, served family-style at the dining table. Dessert is again buffet-style: The kids usually bring pumpkin pie and bread pudding, while Ms. Bastianich makes an apple strudel or cheesecake.
Tips for Home Cooks
Use your oven space wisely: The turkey gets priority, with some sides delegated to cook on the stovetop instead. “Us Italians, we do a lot of garlic-and-oil vegetables in the pan.”
Glaze your bird: Ms. Bastianich simmers balsamic vinegar with bay leaves, rosemary, a couple of garlic cloves, and honey in a pan on the stovetop until reduced by about half, then strains the resulting syrup and brushes it on the turkey in the last half hour of roasting. “That gives it a nice Italian touch and some sweetness.”
Delilah has
been on the air
since 1984. (Courtesy of Delilah)
Delilah’s warmth emanates from her voice—a voice that is familiar with over 8 million radio listeners who tune in to her popular evening show weekly, making it one of the country’s most-listened-to programs. For several hours each night, Delilah listens as people turn to her about their love problems, requesting a song to reminisce about a long-lost lover or to console their broken hearts. Many share their tales of triumph and loss, and Delilah listens carefully, offering a dose of positivity and encouragement. She has been on air from the Seattle, Washington, area since her show started in October 1984.
In a world of chaos and uncertainty, Delilah’s words are like a salve, reminding us that there is still hope. It is remarkable that in spite of her personal tragedies—having lost two sons and her stepson in the span of several years—she still exudes an unbridled verve for life. Her 15 children, many of whom she adopted or fostered, are her reasons for living, she said. She never worried about how to take on the responsibilities of being a mother, only assured that she’ll take things one step at a time. “I was not born with the fear factor—it’s just not in my DNA.” She encourages everyone to embrace the same attitude in life. “When you realize that there’s very little we can control, then you can realize, why am I worrying about it? Why am I not just enjoying the minutes? Most fear is your imagination picturing the worst possible scenario, right? Why not use your imagination to picture the best possible scenario?”
This interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.
(Courtesy of Delilah)
American Essence: Did you always know that you liked connecting with people?
Delilah: Oh yeah. My mom says I used to walk up to people in grocery stores and start talking to them and ask them if they had children. And could I play with them?
There are very few people that I dislike. When I do, that’s on me. Because what I’m looking at is their behavior instead of their heart. What I’m doing is, I’m judging their behaviors instead of looking at their heart and looking at why they have those behaviors.
If we would all do that, there would not be the problems that exist in the world now. There would not be the divisiveness and the division that exists now, because 99 percent of the divisiveness exists because it’s an “us against them” mentality. It’s “I’m better than them. I’m smarter than you. My political party or my political affiliation is better than yours. My religious beliefs are better than yours.” Or even worse than [that] is, “I’m afraid of you. I’m fearful of you.” And if we could just realize that we’re all eternal beings having a human experience, and get past that “us against them” mentality—I try to make it happen.
AE: Do you feel the hardships you’ve been through have helped you provide listeners with perspective?
Delilah: I don’t know that it gives people perspective, but it certainly taught me to shut my mouth more and listen more. Because I thought I knew what grief was. I thought I knew what hardship was. I don’t have a clue. And going through the stuff that I’ve gone through has made me realize that when people are really hurting, when their life has just been completely shattered, they don’t need my advice. They don’t need my pearls of wisdom. They don’t need me quoting Scripture. They don’t need me telling them things are going to get better. They need me to listen, and to honor them, and to hold space for them. That was the best change in my soul, going through the grief that I’ve gone through.
(Courtesy of Delilah)
AE: Many listeners turn to you with their worries. What are your tips on giving good advice?
Delilah: Most of the time when we’re chatting with our friends, they don’t want advice. They want somebody to listen. And honestly, when people call me looking for advice, most of the time, I would say 90 percent of the time, they already have their answers. They just need validation, and a push in the right direction.
A gal called me last night. The scenario was, she’s been involved with a guy for a couple of years. She’s asked him if there’s a future. He said, “No, I just want to have fun. Stop asking me about that. I don’t see us settling down anytime soon.” And she’s like, “So what do I do?” And I said, “You already know what to do. Why are you asking me this? You know exactly what you have to do.” And she’s like, “Yeah, but I love him.” I said, “So what you’re asking is, is there a way to manipulate him? And change him into the kind of committed man you want and need?” No, there’s not. But you already know what you have to do. You want a long-term forever committed partner. He wants to have fun. There’s a big difference between the two. Okay, well, if all you want to do is be used, stay right where you are. If you want to have a long-term committed relationship, don’t partner with somebody who has clearly told you in his own words that that is not on his agenda.
Delilah lives on a 55- acre farm with her adopted children and many animals. (Courtesy of Delilah)
AE: Have your listeners’ stories offered you a unique perspective?
Delilah: When I lost both my boys and my stepson, I was given so much comfort. People sent prayers, they sent pictures. When my son Sammy died, I can’t tell you how many millions of prayers went up for me and my family during those times. Prayers that sustain me, prayers that gave me the courage to get up every day. When you don’t want to get up, when you’ve lost somebody and you just can’t even breathe, it hurts so bad—those prayers sustain you. I appreciate my listeners. Somebody called last year on Zach’s birthday and said, “Our boys share the same birthday. And I just wanted you to know that I’m so grateful I got to share my son’s birthday this year. And I know you didn’t and I’m just calling to tell you I prayed for you.”
AE: We are living in an era of increased isolation and anxiety. How do we as a society overcome this?
Delilah: It doesn’t matter what the crisis is, or the turmoil that you’re facing; if you have faith, you can get through anything. When you believe in something greater than yourself, and you believe that there is a higher power at work, then you can know that you don’t need to be afraid, you don’t need to be anxious, you don’t need to be filled with fear and trepidation. You can just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. It doesn’t matter what the crisis is, or what the dilemma is; if you can hang on to even a mustard seed of faith, you can persevere and get through anything.
Because of the nature of my show, people call me with issues of the heart. And I have noticed for the last three years, certainly an uptick in loneliness. People are lonelier than I’ve ever heard them before, hungry for connection.
I had a gal call me last night to hear a song for a man she met 20 years ago, dated half a dozen times. And then he left for the military. And she’s not heard from him again. And she was just reminiscing of those beautiful moments they had together, that once-in-a-lifetime heart connection. And I said, “Honey, it doesn’t have to be once in a lifetime. You can open yourself up to love again.” So people are usually calling me and they want to share a story about a connection they have. Whatever the big emotion is that they’re feeling, they want to share that, and for whatever reason, they feel like I’m a close friend they want to share it with.
AE: What shapes your view of people and humanity in general?
Delilah: I believe that we are all miracles, that we are all eternal beings having a human experience, that every person that you encounter is a bazillion, gazillion, trillion miracles wrapped up in skin. And because we’re wrapped in skin and we’re having a human experience, we do human things and we make bonehead decisions. We’re not always the best version of ourselves. But the essence of our being remains in the image of the Almighty, the essence of our being is the Almighty. He created us and we were created for a purpose and for a reason. And when you know that, you can survive anything. Why aren’t we just in awe of every person we meet? Why aren’t we just like, “Oh my gosh, I want to get to know you. I want to know the essence of you, I want to get to know what makes you smile, makes you laugh, brings you joy.” And then I want to contribute to that joy. Everybody’s a miracle. And when you know that, you can look beyond the choice, beyond the circumstance, to the wonderful person in front of you.
(Courtesy of Delilah)
Fun Facts About Delilah
8.3 million listeners tune in each week, on average
151 radio stations air Delilah’s program
Florida, Texas, and New York are the three states where Delilah gets the most calls from
Most requested songs
“What a Wonderful World,” Louis Armstrong
“Unchained Melody,” The Righteous Brothers
“Wind Beneath My Wings,” Bette Midler
“I Will Always Love You,” Whitney Houston
How Delilah knows what songs to play for listeners
“You know how some people have sports statistics stuck in their head? I have song lyrics stuck in my head. Because I love so many different genres of music, I have millions of song lyrics that are in my head,” Delilah said. She notes that the special ability is partly passed down from her father, who loved to playfully sing lyrics to everyday questions posed to him.
When listeners tell Delilah their story, she takes notes and then types out the names of songs that she’s reminded of.
Delilah screens her own calls
Delilah herself takes all 30 to 50 calls out of the thousands of people who phone into her show each night. The show’s dynamics all depend on fate.
Delilah said she and her producer “have always prayed, ‘God, let whoever you want through to get through, whoever needs a touch from you, needs to be heard, let that person get through.’ That’s my call screening philosophy.”
Delilah doesn’t have a set routine
“Routine is not in my vocabulary. It’s so hard for me to get the kids out the door in the morning because I am so not a routine person. I am a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants person. Why plan ahead and miss out on all the excitement of the adventure? If you plan ahead, then there’s nothing like, ‘Oh dang, I forgot to put gas in the car,’” she joked.
How Delilah gets through her busy schedule
“I don’t need help getting through the day. I love my day. I hate when my day comes to an end. I loathe going to sleep at night. The frustrating thing for me is when I get off the air, and I’m done around midnight, and I’m like, ‘I’m so pumped up! I want to call somebody and talk about this.’”
Being a mother is Delilah’s greatest joy
“My motherhood is who I was meant to be. I was born to be a mama. It’s not like, ‘Okay, here’s my life. I’m a disc jockey. I’m a gardener. I’m an artist. I’m a mother.’ No, it’s, ‘I’m a mother.’ And then everything else comes after that.”
