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Milton Hershey’s Philanthropy

Milton Hershey School campus. (Courtesy of Milton Hershey School)

One could say that philanthropy is good for the nation and good for the soul.

In fact, philanthropy is a key component permeating the backbone of America’s success: American communities have benefited from private initiatives long after the benefactors have passed on.

Such is the case with one of America’s most beloved innovators: Milton S. Hershey. The wealthy industrialist invented legendary chocolates known the world over. However, Hershey’s legacy of philanthropy started with a belief in moral responsibility to others in need. “What good is money unless you use it for the benefit of the community and of humanity in general?” he was quoted as saying.

Milton 1887. (Courtesy of Milton Hershey School)

Born in Pennsylvania in 1857, Hershey had experienced hunger and poverty throughout his youth. Although loved, Hershey was accustomed to a routinely absent father. With limited choices, he left school at 14 and began a series of apprenticeships; he found success in the candy making industry 12 years later with his own business, Lancaster Caramel Company. It was his thriftiness, ingenuity, and hard work that placed Hershey in a position to give back. After selling his caramel business for $1 million in 1900, he made plans to build the Hershey Chocolate Company near where he grew up in Derry Church, Pennsylvania. There, he could mass-produce affordable, yet delicious, milk chocolate candies; create employment opportunities for others; and utilize the rich, creamy products from the dairy farming community.

Without heirs, Hershey and his wife Catherine dedicated their lives to philanthropic opportunities through the creation of the Hershey Theatre, the Hershey Amusement Park, and the Hershey Industrial School. The latter started out as an orphanage on the old homestead in the early 1900s. Today, Hershey’s legacy lives on as thousands of students have benefited from attending the well-endowed Milton Hershey School (as it is now known), a cost-free, private school for boys and girls from low-income families. As a home and school, MHS covers 100 percent of the cost of medical, dental, and psychological care, housing, clothing, food, extracurricular activities, and more for its students, allowing them to focus on their personal growth. This year’s enrollment consists of 2,000 students.

MHS Elementary school student enjoying art class. (Courtesy of Milton Hershey School)

Josh Kelly, like so many students before him, comes from an adverse background. Students who experience neglect, poverty, or negative environments apply for free admission and find themselves on a new path of opportunity. Kelly, a bright senior who hails from Philadelphia, plays ice hockey, works as a lifeguard at the school’s pool, and plans to further his education in the field of business or finance after graduation.

“When I was younger, my dad was never around. I was getting into trouble because I didn’t know how to express my emotions of anger very well,” said Kelly of his time as a troubled 1st grader. He and his older sister arrived at Milton Hershey School to get away from home and school dilemmas. Upon arrival at the Milton Hershey School, Kelly credits his elementary school houseparents for their tremendous influence on his emotional growth and well-being.
 “They always push you to do better because they want you to succeed,” he added. “I didn’t have parent figures, so to speak, so they really set me up for a better future.”

Houseparent with students. (Courtesy of Milton Hershey School)

A better future, asserts School Historian Susan Alger, is why Hershey’s visionary ideals led him and Catherine to contribute to and support an institution like no other—a private establishment that not only educates but offers support and balance in family life.

“Students can relate to Milton Hershey’s story, who experienced a meager existence in a dysfunctional family. He wanted students to be useful citizens with stability,” Alger explained. “He just always said he wanted to get away from the idea of institutions and give them a happy life.”

In the beginning, Hershey’s Industrial School was an all-male enterprise. Aside from studies, everyone helped with daily chores, from gardening to milking cows. And the school grew in numbers. Being completely self-contained with truck patch farming, the students and employees grew everything they needed.

After Catherine Hershey passed away in 1915, Milton Hershey endeavored to be more involved in all aspects of the school’s success, providing opportunities in trades for students and financially ensuring needs were met.

According to Alger, his direct involvement of care and concern for the school was essentially fatherly. Being a bit sentimental and shy, Hershey would take boys for rides in his car and visit their student homes. Hershey was quoted as saying, “If we had helped a hundred children it would have all been worthwhile.”

Even during World Wars I and II, the school continued its deliberate mission to educate youth from troubled homes. Originally, the Deed of Trust allowed boys ages 4 through 8 to attend if the father was deceased; however, about the time of the Great Depression, the age restriction expanded to ages 4 to 14 with either mother or father deceased. Even when enrollment was down during World War II, it was due to those who chose to serve. “Close to 1,000 served, and we annually honor our Gold Star alumni who gave their life to service,” Alger stated.

While other philanthropists, in their generosity, give away partial or complete estates after their passing, Hershey was different. “He gave the bulk of his entire wealth while still alive,” Alger said. With the success of the Hershey Chocolate Company, Hershey quietly and humbly transferred the entirety of his company’s shares in 1918 to the school. But this fact was not known until a few years later.

With heart and will bent toward benevolence, Hershey was motivated by his own upbringing but also motivated through innovation.

“I wanted to get away from the idea of institutions and charity and compulsion, and to give as many boys as possible real homes, real comforts, education, and training, so they would be useful and happy citizens,” he said of his school. “Most of them [students] have better chances for character building and education than ever before. Perhaps they don’t have the chance to make as much money as some individuals have made, but they will lead to happier lives.”

Milton Hershey with children. (Courtesy of Milton Hershey School)

Historical records and oral histories indicate that Milton Hershey was a fair man. “He always gave the benefit of the doubt. As a problem solver, he wanted things to be right and ethical. He wanted people to live honestly.”

And unlike his contemporaries, she added, Hershey was grounded. As an example, in comparison to other wealthy philanthropists like the Fords, Wrigleys, and Vanderbilts, Hershey built a modest yet graceful home, High Point Mansion.

And though Hershey passed away in 1945, his innovative school continued to cultivate an education that helped hundreds of students. In 1977, the founder’s original dreams expanded, admitting girls from disadvantaged homes or tragic backgrounds.

“My dad tragically died when I was 4 years old,” said Christine Cook, a recently retired kindergarten teacher of 35 years at the Milton Hershey School.

Cook remarked on her own journey as the first female to graduate.

“I arrived in 10th grade as a sophomore from Philadelphia. We were taught intangibles—to work hard and to be kind. And we were taught tangibles like milking cows at 5:30 in the morning on the coldest of winter days or in the middle of the summer with temperatures soaring above 100 degrees. This is good, character-building stuff.”

Even if students didn’t like the chores, it was part of the overall experience. But Cook admits she was fortunate. Other students came from families with tragic, even abusive, backgrounds. Leaving family behind and starting fresh can be extremely challenging for the students and their families.

“I remember it being difficult for my mother. It was a tough decision, but a great one. So many parent supports exist today that help families experiencing feelings of guilt, […] giving up their children even though the school provides them with better opportunities,” Cook continued.

She would know. Before Cook graduated as the first alumna in 1981, she had played field hockey, basketball, and softball. She was a member of the school’s band, earned a spot in the National Honor Society, and held positions in student leadership. She graduated from college and returned to the school to teach the hallmark values, ideals, and integrity so instilled from her own experiences at the school. Cook believes that if Milton Hershey were alive today, he would be impressed by the vast majority of alumni who have successfully graduated and are employed in solid leadership positions. The school’s alumni have surpassed 11,000.

Cook was named the Alumna of the Year in May 2021, and she attests to the amazing honor of being a student. Her experiences led her to contribute in many ways to countless others who came through her classroom. In fact, she taught just under 500 students over her 35-year tenure.

“Hershey’s idea of success was making your mark in society in a positive way. A successful person is one who helps others. Hershey was big on helping the other guy, making the world a better place,” Cook added.

When her students graduate, she makes a point to stay in touch with those who are considered “Lifers”—having attended from kindergarten through their senior year. For the seniors, she invites them over to her house, cooks a homemade meal, and breaks out photos to share memories. When a Lifer graduates, she makes sure her congratulatory card includes a copy of his or her kindergarten report card.

“As you graduate, you understand the needs of the kids; it makes you work harder. I would tell my kindergartners that they attend the best school in the whole wide world.”

These kids are the lucky ones because no other school subscribes to what Milton Hershey stood for, she added. He left a mark in the world and lived up to his words.

Christine Cook, former kindergarten teacher for 35 years at MHS. (Courtesy of Milton Hershey School)

The philanthropic mission of Milton Hershey has been good for the students and employees. As School Historian Alger put it, “There’s one quote of Milton Hershey that sums up what he wanted, and it’s what we still do today: ‘One is only happy in proportion as he makes others feel happy and only useful as he contributes his influences for the finer callings in life.’”

It’s an adage that Kelly appreciates. Every year, he and the other students become philanthropists of sorts. With community service days, they learn to give back, too. He appreciates the opportunities awaiting him after graduation, thankful for the founder he never met who helped turn his life around.

If Milton Hershey’s philanthropic success continues from within the hallways of his hometown private initiative, it will be good for America, for his legacy of education lives on with students long after they graduate. One could say his gratefulness and generosity echo beyond the grave: “I hope to see the school carry on to new heights. After a man dies, he cannot spend his money, and it has been a pleasure for me to spend mine as I have done.”

Categories
A Love of Learning

The Conversation No Parent Ever Wants

(KaliAntye/Shutterstock)

I was the perfect parent once, and then I had children. Nothing in life prepares you for this journey. There is no rule book, no instruction manual, and no one has walked the exact path you will. It is quite literally the most unique experience that any individual will have, and it is by definition, the perfect example of being thrown into the deep end without knowing how to swim. No one is ever fully prepared for the journey of parenthood.

Yet when that little ones arrives, it is life changing. The love and instant connection between a parent and child is evident in so many ways. The hopes and dreams that every parent has for their child begin with that first look. We will do anything to protect that precious little one. We have dreams of seeing them achieve and hopefully not struggle.

A life without struggle, though, is not in the cards, and as parents we are often powerless to stop pain and hardship when it comes. So, what do we do when those hard life events and tough conversations inevitably come? Honestly, it is something none of us are truly prepared for.

It was the end of the school year, and my wife and I sat across from two teachers and the principal. It had been a long road up to that point. Our son had struggled in a number of ways and we were rapidly approaching the end of his kindergarten year. No matter how hard we worked or how hard we pushed him, he was still having a hard time.

As we sat there discussing his future, strategy after strategy was outlined to ensure his success, but even that seemed to be in question. As the list grew longer, the task of advancing him to first grade seemed more and more daunting. I finally looked at the team and asked, “Does he just need to repeat?” It was one of the hardest questions to speak, but it was one that needed to be asked.

“Yes, it would do him a world of good, and it might help us find better ways to help him.” It’s hard to describe what I felt as both a parent and an educator hearing that answer. A 20-year veteran of education, and I couldn’t help my own son. I felt like a failure.

We knew what we needed to do, yet did not want to do it. That was not the last hard conversation that we had about one of our children. Ultimately, we made the choice to hold him back and begin the process of testing to determine how best to help him. What I did not realize at the time, was that in some ways, this was one of the most successful conversations and decision we had ever made.

Many times, I asked to myself, “What I could’ve done differently to prevent this”, but in reality, that question was not fair to myself or my child. You see, as a young parent and teacher, I was missing some very important truths, and did not see that:

  1. Just because he learned differently, didn’t mean something was wrong.
  2. These learning differences made him unique and special and that was something to be celebrated.
  3. Just because he needed help, meant just that, he needed help, as we all sometimes do.
  4. Blaming myself was not productive, and would stand in the way of helping him.
  5. I need to do what was best for him, and not what I thought was best for me.
  6. He was created unique and special, and these experiences, even the challenging ones, would help make him the man that he was supposed to be.

As parents having these hard conversations is never easy, but when we approach it from a place of humility, and have our child’s best interest at heart, the decision becomes much easier. As a parent, and even if you are an educator, when this conversation, or another like it, presents itself (and it will), try to remember these things:

  1. These discussions are never easy, so have them with humility and grace.
  2. Let go of your ego. It’s not about you, it’s about your child.
  3. Find someone you trust and let them help you step back and look at this decision from all angles.
  4. Don’t see or speak of this as a negative, but as an opportunity for you and your child.
  5. This will be something unique in this child’s life, and will help make them a stronger and better person, but a lot of that will depend on how you frame it.
  6. Don’t blame yourself, and give yourself a break. Even if you did make a mistake, there are no perfect parents.
  7. Even in these hard conversations, celebrate the successes. Even though my child struggled, there were so many things he did well, so many talents and abilities he had. Struggle does not equal bad.

With the decision made, we went home and told my son. I will not lie, he was upset, he even cried, but we encouraged him, and then put on an episode of his favorite show, “The A-Team” and life once again was good. Our children are going to struggle, but what we decide and how we choose to help them, will ultimately make all the difference. This was not the last hard conversation, but each one helped us find new ways to support him.

In 10th grade, he was inducted into the National Honor Society. I’m not saying that will be the case if you decide to hold your child back, but more times than I can count, when I have seen parents make this or another tough decision, I have watched the child become even stronger. I do know, that had we not done this for my son, his struggle would’ve been far greater.

As parents, we are forced to have conversations and make decisions that are hard, but sometimes the hard decisions can be some of the most impactful and the best ones for our children. It’s all in how you choose to view it.

Charles Mickles is an educational consultant with over 25 years in education. As a speaker and author, he has published 3 books and written numerous articles featured on The Mighty, Yahoo Lifestyles, and MSN. You can follow his story and read more at www.MinesParkinsons.com 

Categories
A Love of Learning

No Crying in Debate

(Mark Fuller/Unsplash)

The young men and women arrived for their debate dressed in jackets, slacks, and skirts. They wanted to look the part, as a strategy for winning. This was to be their very first debate in their weekly homeschool co-op class day. The subject was a sobering one: The federal government should discontinue capital punishment.

Jane, a shy, 15-year-old student who eschewed attention of any kind, nervously organized her papers at her assigned table next to her partner Mary, who barely concealed her own apprehensions. Jane was particularly anxious about the portion of the debate known as “cross,” where her opponent could question her openly about any of her research or her position on the topic. The coin toss earlier had resulted in Jane and Mary arguing for the affirmative and against the death sentence punishment.

Teaching debate is a lost art. Today, students typically learn simply to memorize information the teacher provides and then regurgitate it on the exam. But argument is our bulwark against violence. We should be instructing children in the art of persuasion and debate as a means of discovering truth and reaching understanding. While most public schooling cements rigidity of the mind, purposely instructing young people in forensics affords them flexibility of thought such that one day they might win in the marketplace of ideas. Debate is the very means by which this country discovered itself and offered freedom and its accompanying explosion of prosperity the world had never before seen.

The cramped office in the church where they all met hosted both debate tables, the speaker’s podium, and several chairs for visiting parents and other students. It would have been standing room only if there had been any room left to stand in.

Suddenly, Jane looked sternly at her mother, rose from her table, and walked briskly outside the constricted space. The hallway was vacant, and Jane’s mother came up behind her. “What’s going on, Jane?”

Jane turned to face her mother, her face streaked with tears, her lips trembling. “I… can’t… do… this.”

“Yes, you can,” her mom told her sternly. Her own mind was reeling. There’s no crying in debate! If she gave in to Jane’s panic, then the loss might be permanent. No, she thought to herself. She has to get through this somehow. But how? Jane was melting down before her eyes. “Mom, look at me. I can’t stop crying. I can’t do this. I don’t know what I’m doing… what to say!”

“Jane, we’ve gone through this. You have your papers. You’ve prepared for this. Everything is written down.” “Not for cross!” Jane hissed vehemently. “I have no idea what he’ll ask me!” “You will simply answer to the best of your ability, Jane. You can do this. You march in there, and go through with it. They’re counting on you. We all are. And you’ve done the work.” Jane’s mother sounded more convicted than she felt, but fundamentally she understood that giving in was worse than standing firm.

Through alternate hounding and cajoling, Mom managed to get the young woman to walk back into the room. She was to begin the debate, presenting the affirmative’s side. She turned twice more from the podium to attempt to gather her composure before beginning. Then, tears continually flowing down her cheeks, Jane sobbed through reading her well-prepared pages. She even withstood cross-examination, and by the end of the debate, she had proven to herself that she was stronger than she had previously believed.

A first debate is always a struggle. We’re naturally intimidated by new experiences, especially growing ones. Debate stretches the debater if they want to win. We need to teach our children how to win in the realm of thought.

Which brings us to the second debate, where the debaters discover opportunities to correct previous mistakes and test further strategies. This time Jane knew she would be on the negative side, and she organized her approach based on her initial experience.

The day arrived, and Jane felt less than half as nervous as the previous week. She had battled many demons that day and conquered the bigger ones. “Is killing wrong?” Jane asked the tall, dark-haired young man she was crossing. “Yes,” he answered quickly and decisively. “All the time?” “Well, yes, of course!” As a Christian homeschooler, the young man knew the commandment not to kill.

“What about in war?” Jane asked, nervous, but committed to her strategy and convinced of its efficacy. “Well,” the young man looked up off to the left, considering. He obviously understood there was a trap, but he couldn’t see avoiding it. He believed that some killing was righteous, especially in wartime, and so, he answered honestly. “In war, the killing is justified.”

“Thank you. No further questions.” Jane smiled to herself. Another demon defeated. When Jane took the podium to argue her rebuttal, she offered that the state views serial killers as warring against the public. Her specific case was a particularly heinous tale of a murderer who had been freed, who then committed eight more monstrous murders before being put to death.

Jane won her case. But more than that, she won her battle with fear. Studying and engaging in debate paves a path to freedom. Failing or avoiding teaching young people this skill shackles them.

Unfortunately, most public schools these days don’t tolerate argument or encourage independent thought, seeking uniformity and coerced agreement, instead. Kids in public schools should be crying over their inability to debate.

Sam Sorbo is an actress, talk radio hostess, and author of “They’re Your Kids: An Inspirational Journey from Self-Doubter to Home School Advocate.”

Categories
A Love of Learning Homeschooling The Great Outdoors

A Rise in Roadschooling

The Lundys are one of about 6,000 families that homeschool on the road. (Courtesy of the Lundys)

When Margie Hamel Lundy and her husband, Allen Lundy, decided to road school their three children in 2010, they didn’t ask school authorities in Ohio for permission. “We didn’t offer up that information either when we left,” Mrs. Lundy said in an interview. “We were already working from home and were homeschooling our kids.” So, they packed up their fifth wheel travel trailer, which they had hooked to their truck for weekend camping trips, and started driving.

(Courtesy of the Lundys)

“The biggest obstacle for me was my mindset and learning how to do things in a different way, because growing up traditionally and going to public school is what we knew,” Mr. Lundy said. “Road schooling was scary. It required a big change of mindset. Once we got that, there was so much freedom in it.” For Mr. Lundy, it was the thinking that a child has to sit down at a desk to learn from a specially trained adult that needed to change in order to get behind the idea. “We didn’t realize, until we watched it happen, that kids can learn from anyone and everything all the time,” he said.

The Lundy kids doing some schoolwork. (Courtesy of the Lundys)

Today, their children Lizzy, 21; Josh, 21; and Matt, 18 are all grown up and living on their own. The Lundys, however, continue to travel the country. “We’re having a good time,” Mrs. Lundy said. “We visit the kids, too. We saw our daughter in Nevada and now we’re seeing our son. It’s fun to travel and see them and then travel again.”

(Courtesy of the Lundys)

Road schooling—also known as RV homeschooling—is the practice of homeschooling children while driving on the road from city to city or state to state without attending a brick and mortar school building. “Just because it’s called homeschooling doesn’t mean that the schooling has to always take place in your home,” said Thomas J. Schmidt, a staff attorney with the non-profit Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA).

Regarding how they homeschooled their kids for 11 years while driving, Mrs. Lundy said the state of Ohio required teacher overviews and some reporting to the county. “It wasn’t hard but we did have to figure it out and talk to some people who were more familiar with Ohio’s homeschool laws,” she said.

(Courtesy of the Lundys)

Eventually, the Lundys relocated to Florida, where homeschool accountability is easier. “We joined an umbrella group through Florida Unschoolers and then all you have to do with the umbrella school is report attendance,” she said. “We didn’t have to do a dossier check through an accredited teacher like we did in Ohio. Florida requires private umbrella schools to verify our kids have at least 180 days of attendance each school year, so 45 days each quarter.”

The Lundys are among the 6,000 parents who have participated in the tuition-free Florida Unschoolers, which is a legal path for parents to comply with the state’s attendance law. Others work with the HSLDA. “Children arrive in kindergarten with a strong desire to learn, and they receive great joy from learning,” said Lee Jenkins, author of the book “How to Create a Perfect School.” “If parents who are RVing and homeschooling can keep this desire to learn alive, and if the children receive joy from the learning, the plan is a good one.”

In May, the RV Family Virtual Summit, co-organized by Bryanna Royal, taught parents how to hit the road with their school children in tow. There were multiple Zoom instructional webinars, including: how to transition to road life, how people of color are received on the road, what is the cost of RV living, telling your family you are hitting the road, and how to avoid educational roadschooling potholes and school tickets.

“School doesn’t have to look so traditional,” said LaNissir James, a high school educational consultant with the HSLDA. “It can be very eclectic if you choose.” LaNissir and her husband Lorenzo are homeschooling their seven children on the road in their RV. “I love to use travel guides,” LaNissir said in an interview. “Another favorite is state parks because you can learn a lot of history from the state park. You may have a guide to your state park and then you can talk about the history of the state park.”

Staying overnight and waking up at a camp site is also a great educational opportunity, according to James. “All the campsites have so many fun things and games like chess,” she said. “They have lots of logic games and other things that you can do.”

A downside to the family’s roadschooling, however, is only having one toilet in their RV. “There are times we all are lined up and have to use the bathroom at the same time,” LaNissir said. “There’s a conflict there. They don’t make RVs with three bathrooms yet.”

Juliette Fairley is a graduate of Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism. Born in Chateauroux, France, and raised outside of Lackland Air Force Base in Texas, Juliette is a well-adjusted military brat who now lives in Manhattan. She has written for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, TheStreet, Time magazine, the Chicago City Wire, the Austin-American Statesman, and many other publications across the country.

Categories
A Love of Learning Reading

Reading, the Gateway to Empathy

“It’s all so sad,” said Emma, reflecting on the death of Hector as seen through the eyes of his grieving parents. “Especially because last week during class, I was happy about Achilles getting his revenge. We were excited as he put his armor on and went out to fight with Hector. We’ve been waiting for this moment ever since Hector killed Patroclus. But now, I hate it.”

Welcome to my homeschool literature class where we’re diving deep into the “Iliad.”

The narrative’s changing point of view has Emma and her classmates on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Where once they cheered Achilles on as he prepared for battle, now the kids are face-to-face with the high price of war. They’ve seen the grief of Hector’s parents, who watched as their son was cut down on the battlefield in front of them.

Another scene shift and now they see Hector’s wife, Andromache, weaving at her loom, getting a hot bath ready for Hector, oblivious to the fact her husband has just been killed. “I think Homer’s a stinker,” said Lauren. “He makes us want Achilles to succeed with his revenge, but as soon as it happens, I’m sad for Hector’s wife and family. Especially since the whole time he’s describing Andromache, we know what’s happened, so we’re here waiting for the other shoe to drop for her. Reading that was awful.”

“I wish life could be more fair,” said Emma.

More than watching movies or television shows, more than listening to audiobooks or playing games, reading serves as a magic doorway to empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of other people. Unfortunately in today’s world, feeling empathy for others is quickly becoming something of a lost art. But it doesn’t have to be. Particularly when you start early. Award-winning children’s book creator Julia Cook, author of nearly 100 books for children, including “The Judgmental Flower” and the forthcoming “Will You Be the I in KIND?,” says, “You cannot teach empathy to children, you can only offer them experiences that allow them to develop it from within. Reading is a great way to do that!”

As a longtime classroom teacher, I agree. I regularly remind my students that none of us has the time to meet all the people, live through all the situations, visit all the places, and make all the mistakes, so reading is our next best option. Be they fiction or nonfiction, poetry or prose or plays; books and the characters who live in their pages help readers view the world firsthand from someone else’s perspective. A character’s point of view becomes the lens through which readers see the action and interactions of the story. Readers sneak inside someone else’s head and share that person’s emotions. As readers, we have the opportunity to experience more of the world than we ever could on our own.

As a former school counselor, Cook quickly realized that in order to help children, she needed to enter their view of the world, to empathize with them as they tried to figure out how the world worked. Reading books makes it easier for children to understand emotions and people’s reactions to extreme situations when they aren’t immediately involved in those situations. Plus, reading (or being read to) gives kids the opportunity to see the world from a point of view other than their own.

Maybe that new perspective comes from Hank the Cowdog’s point of view, maybe it comes from Big Dog and Little Dog, maybe from a classic such as Lassie or Old Yeller. The important thing is for children to learn that the world doesn’t look the same to everyone. Different people experience things in different ways. Little Dog’s encounter with a too-long bed is different than Big Dog’s encounter with a too-short bed.

As an only child, I never longed for siblings of my own, but I was curious about how having a brother or sister worked. That curiosity was satisfied by Charlie and Sally Brown and Lucy and Linus Van Pelt as I read about their sibling antics in the Peanuts comic strips. As I grew older, I joined the Ingalls family in the Little House books and later, the Bennet family of “Pride and Prejudice.” I gained an understanding of how tumultuous and intense the relationship between siblings can be.

Before I experienced the death of a loved one in real life, I was as powerless as Meg, Jo, and Amy to save dear, sweet Beth March in Little Women. While the March family grieved their loss, I sobbed along in my bedroom, because as a reader, I had lost someone important to me too.

I began to understand what grief felt like. I also learned how much it could hurt to be told “Ah, what’s the big deal, it’s only a book; it’s not like anybody actually died.” And by extension, I realized I didn’t want to be the one to say, “Ah, what’s the big deal, it’s ‘just’ a —” to someone else who experienced a loss. That’s empathy.

That’s what Atticus Finch is talking about when he tells Scout (and everyone who reads “To Kill a Mockingbird”) “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” Atticus doesn’t add a caveat of “but only walk around in the skin of people you like or people who are like you.” It’s important to extend empathy to everyone. Later in the novel, Atticus once again reminds Scout, “You never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them.”

What if that became a summertime goal? It’s as easy as searching out a book that sounds interesting. Then just turn the page, slip into someone else’s shoes, and open the gateway to empathy.

Gina Prosch is a writer, home educator, life coach, and parent located in mid-Missouri. She is the author of “This Day’s Joy” and “Finding This Day’s Joy,” both of which are available at Amazon. Find her online at GinaProsch.com or TheHomeschoolWay.com. She also co-hosts The OnlySchoolers Podcast (OnlySchoolers.com). 

Categories
A Love of Learning

Never Give Up: Tears and Triumph Over Long Division

(Shutterstock)

Third grade–we all remember it–some memories are good, others, not so much, but one thing that many of us remember is math. Already a huge transitional grade, it’s also a school year in which many new concepts are introduced, and no subject introduces more new concepts than math.

As a third-grade teacher for 10 years, I saw students respond in many unique and interesting ways to this subject and its concepts. Yet no concept evoked more self-doubt, fear, and angst in students, and sometimes parents, than division. In a year already filled with many new experiences, this concept, with its many steps and many opportunities for mistakes, often made students want to give up before they even started.

One year there was a young lady in my class who was very bright but often doubted herself. On the day I first introduced division to the class, you could see the anxiety on the students’ faces, but for one little girl, tears began to flow. She looked at me brokenhearted and simply said, “I can’t do it.” So after I got the class started, I called her to my desk, and we walked through the problems step-by-step. At the end of each problem, she would give me the same answer, “I just don’t understand. I don’t think I can do this.”

As the days turned into weeks and weeks turn into months, I wondered when she would believe in herself enough to do it. Every day we would get out our math books, and as soon as she saw division on the page, tears began to flow. I would call her to my desk and calmly walk her through the problem, helping her see that she could do it. Most days, my help involved nothing more than simply saying, “What do we do next? What do we do next?” Every time, she was able to answer my question and do the problem.

Finally, one day, I looked at her after we had done three problems, and I said, “Tell me what I said as I helped you?” She thought back over our interaction, all of a sudden, the lightbulb came on above her head. She looked at me and said, “All you said was ‘What do you do next?’” I said, “Exactly. You did all the work. You know how to do this, but you’re just not sure of yourself. So here’s what I want you to do. First, look at this problem. I want you to go back to your seat, and every time you get nervous, hear my voice saying, ‘What do you do next?’”

With still a little hesitation, she looked at me, and I smiled and said, “I know you can do it.” She went back to her seat and carefully did the problem. As soon as she was done, she jumped out of her seat screaming, “I did it. I did it.” When she brought her paper to me, she certainly had. From that day forward, there were no more tears.

Honestly, parents, sometimes we are in the same place ourselves. There have been times when my daughter brought me math homework to get my help, and I didn’t even know where to begin (and I have a master’s degree). It’s not easy as a parent to sometimes admit that you’re not sure what to do, but there are days when I’ve had to.

Over the years, there were many stories like this. Early on in my teaching career, I would get frustrated, until I started to ask myself, “Why is the student reacting this way?” I realized that sometimes it was just overwhelming for them, they didn’t trust themselves, and didn’t realize that all along, they could do it. We, as a parent, can forget how daunting the learning experience can feel for our children.

Think of how you have felt at a new job. Were there days that just seemed like too much? Days where you felt like all you did was make mistakes? Imagine every day going to work and having your report corrected and being shown the mistakes you made and then having to come back and do it again and again.

Don’t get me wrong, this is necessary, and I’m not saying that students’ errors or ours shouldn’t be corrected. But any time you’re learning new information, there are going to be many mistakes, there’s going to be a lot of uncertainty, and it will be overwhelming. As adults, we just find better ways to hide it.

How our children feel about success, failure, and learning depends greatly on us as parents and teachers. We must never forget that what we do and how we react will set the tone. When working with children, keep these in mind:

  1. Be patient and try to remember what it was like when you struggled in new situations.
  2. Talk to them about your own challenges and fears.
  3. Hold their hand and steady them until they feel like they can do it on their own.
  4. Let them know that mistakes are OK, and sometimes are necessary to the process.
  5. No matter how long it takes, never let them quit, and never give up on them.
  6. Finally, don’t be afraid to tell them you don’t know how to do something. When I did, I was surprised how much it helped them as they learned.

We set the tone. Our attitude and reactions to our children and students often tell them what’s most important to us. When we give them the space to mess up, we show them that it’s OK and that we are there to help them take the next step in learning. This freedom is the greatest gift we can give to help them overcome their fear and uncertainty. This will enable them to believe in themselves, find success as they keep trying, and never give up.

Charles Mickles is an educational consultant with over 25 years in education. As a speaker and author, he has published 3 books and written numerous articles featured on The Mighty, Yahoo Lifestyles, and MSN. You can follow his story and read more at www.MinesParkinsons.com 

Categories
A Love of Learning

Teaching Virtue

Mother and daughter holding hands on picnic table in park (Shutterstock)

When our daughter turned 4, my husband and I began to think about our choices for her education. At that time, I was part of a small mothers’ co-op in the San Francisco Bay Area with women who were friends and shared my values. It was a safe environment in which we were free to guide the children spiritually and teach them principles of good behavior.

The parents in our co-op started to have conversations about schools in the area, which led to an important decision. The private schools there were very expensive and the public schools had no curriculum for teaching kids how to develop good character. God had been kicked out of public schools a long time ago, so there was no spiritual presence in the classrooms.

One of our co-op parents, Dr. Mose Durst, was a professor in a local college. He became very aware of the negative results of years of secular education. Most of his students lacked a sense of vision and purpose, and consequently were careless and confused. The parents in our group believed what research shows: young children don’t naturally and automatically know how to make good choices in their social and emotional behaviors, at school, at home, and in the community. They need explicit instruction and support in order to develop into adults who can contribute to a virtuous and prosperous society.

What would it take to build our own school that emphasized the character development of its students, included core values such as respect, responsibility, and self-discipline, and provided instruction that led to outstanding academic achievement? Under the leadership of Dr. Durst, members of our co-op began building the school we envisioned. It took a great deal of commitment, sacrifice, and research to make it happen. As our core staff developed the school incrementally, adding grades each year as our children grew, we discovered many wonderful resources that helped us create a significant character education school that prospers and continues to prepare students for future success.

I’d like to share just one of these resources that became a backbone of our virtues education. It’s very simple and can be used in the home for those families who don’t have access to a school that reflects traditional family values. The Core Virtues Foundation, established by Mary Beth Klee, provides materials for schools and homeschooling families that teach principles of good behavior.

“The mission of the Core Virtues Foundation is to advance virtues-based character education for elementary school children and to marshal the resources of literature and history on behalf of that endeavor. Drawing on the American Founders’ insight that knowledge and virtue are essential to a properly functioning republic, the Core Virtues Foundation seeks to promote the intellectual, moral, and civic virtues…”

At our school, the Principled Academy, we adopted their Virtue of the Month curriculum as well as the Core Knowledge curriculum, developed by E.D. Hirsch, Jr., that provides comprehensive, content-rich learning materials in all subject areas. The Core Virtues Foundation believes that the main method of helping young children understand virtues is by telling stories. Consequently, the school day always begins with a story related to the virtue of the month, and a prayer.

What are these virtues? Each month of the school year has its own emphasis, beginning with respect and responsibility in September and ending with heroism and wisdom in June. For anyone who’s interested, their website has all the information parents need to implement this plan in the home or promote it in their child’s school.

Here’s an example of how I used this in my second-grade classroom. One of the March virtues is compassion, which is defined as being able to feel what others are feeling and trying to help them with their troubles. I read stories to my students about compassion but that was only part of the approach I used. They needed a more direct experience with the meaning of compassion, so I invited them to be pen pals for a month with a child I sponsored in the Philippines through Children International.

They learned about his life of poverty and how sponsorship helped him go to school and get health care. We talked about the difference between “needs” and “wants,” how this boy’s parents were too poor to provide him with his basic needs, such as nutritious food and shoes, which he was required to have in order to attend school. The money I sent each month provided him with needs, such as clothing, personal hygiene items, and so on. He may have wanted toys and sporting equipment, but his gifts at birthdays and other special occasions were always practical.

My students wrote letters to Mawill, asking him about life in the Philippines, and he joyfully wrote back and drew pictures of plants and animals in this tropical climate. We had class meetings to read the letters and talk about how their words and pictures may have helped him feel happy in spite of his difficult living situation. When asked how they felt about the experience, many shared how it made them feel good. The virtue of compassion was no longer just a concept for these kids.

What does it look like when the virtues learned in the classroom take root, develop and bear fruit in adult life? The knowledge and practice of these virtues are a prescription for future success in an otherwise confusing adult world. Young adults who are lucky enough to receive virtues education and lifestyle support tend to experience both outward success and inner strength and confidence, which helps improve their communities.

Poppy Richie is a freelance writer and former teacher and administrator at the Principled Academy in the San Francisco Bay Area. She co-authored a K–12 Character Education curriculum, “Discovering the Real Me” and contributed to online elementary-level science education curricula for various companies. 

Categories
A Love of Learning

Empowerment Scholarship Accounts Offer Arizona Parents Finances, Flexibility to Home Educate

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When Michael and Jenny Clark discovered that two of their eldest children had dysgraphia and were dyslexic, they were unsuccessful in finding intensive remediation programs in their local public school, which their sons Scout and Brooks needed to learn how to read.

“I was shocked because we live in one of the best school districts in Arizona,” Ms. Clark said in an interview.

Through a variety of random encounters, the mother of five subsequently learned about the state’s Empowerment Scholarship Account (ESA) program and promptly applied. Her two sons, ages 9 and 11, qualified, and now Clark is entrusted with $12,000, which she uses to home educate them both.

An ESA, also known as an Education Savings Account, provides parents with a portion of public funds for private school tuition, tutoring services, textbooks, specialized teachers, therapists, and other educational resources.

“My kids actually had qualified for an ESA years earlier because of their speech delays, but no one told me about it,” Clark said.

Clark’s two sons are among the 6,310 students being educated with ESAs outside of Arizona public schools, which cost some $82 million in 2021, according to media reports.

“Once we got our kids onto ESA, we were able to use those funds to buy the very specific curriculum they needed,” she said. “We were also able to get them speech therapy and to hire tutors so they could learn to read. They go to a really great therapist for a variety of different things, including their handwriting disability.”

Arizona’s $82 million is a cost that, if ESAs take hold in other states, experts allege could cumulatively cripple public schools financially nationwide over time.

“I predict less enrollment in public schools, which will have an impact because all the fixed costs of utilities, maintenance, payroll, and insurance remain in place, but you have fewer kids enrolled in public school to help foot the bill,” said Lee Jenkins, author of the book “How to Create a Perfect School.”

Currently, there are only six states that have ESA programs, according to the Education Commission of the States. They include Arizona, Florida, Mississippi, Nevada, Tennessee, and North Carolina.

“In the beginning, it might be good for kids enrolled in public schools because there will be fewer kids per class, but in the long run, as more parents opt to home educate their kids with ESAs, it won’t be a positive, necessarily, for the public schools,” Jenkins told American Essence. “It could be a positive for education as a whole if there’s more parents who are happy with their kids’ learning through ESAs.”

K–12 public schools spend $612.7 billion, or $12,612 per pupil per year, according to Education Data statistics, with the federal government providing 7.7 percent of funding and the state and local governments providing 46.7 percent and 45.6 percent of public education funds, respectively.

“That money belongs to each student, and we would argue that the funding should follow the child, just like a backpack, but in Arizona, not all of the money allocated follows an ESA child,” Clark said in an interview. “Some of the money is left behind for the public school, and in Arizona, the per-pupil funding is more than $10,000 but ESAs only pay out around $6,000 per student.”

Without access to Arizona’s ESA funding, Kayla Svedin says there’d be no way she could afford to home educate her three children on her husband’s teacher salary.

“I pay for my younger two who are in kindergarten and preschool to attend a private in-home Montessori school, and my oldest is a 9-year-old in fourth grade who studies with another fourth-grader three days a week,” Svedin said. “Our daughters are very similar in their learning styles, and with our ESA monies, the other parent and I hired a private instructor to teach them at their house. So I drop my daughter off.”

In order to tap into ESA money, children must qualify under one of ten categories, which include adopted from foster care, having special needs, or having a learning disability. Once a parent completes the application and the child is approved, however, Svedin says the parent’s work has just begun.

“ESAs are highly audited and highly accountable,” she said. “I have to prove what I’m buying every single quarter, and I have to upload credentials, receipts, and invoices for every purchase.”

Svedin, a stay-at-home mom, co-founded a local community nonprofit with three other ESA mothers, called Empowered Arizona Families, to help others secure ESA funding for home education.

“You have to submit a Multidisciplinary Evaluation Team (MET) report or an Individualized Education Program (IEP) evaluation or a 405 Education Plan to the Arizona Department of Education with your application, and don’t let any bumps in the road stop you,” she said. “If you are denied, you can appeal.”

Juliette Fairley is a graduate of Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism. Born in Chateauroux, France, and raised outside of Lackland Air Force Base in Texas, Juliette is a well-adjusted military brat who now lives in Manhattan. She has written for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, TheStreet, Time magazine, the Chicago City Wire, the Austin-American Statesman, and many other publications across the country.

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A Love of Learning Homeschooling

Homeschooling, a Generation Later

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Upon writing this, I’m watching my 6-year-old granddaughter tranquilly learn to needlepoint a bookmark. It’s her Mumsee and Pops’s day of play and learning. She’s backlit by the sun, wearing lavender overalls with her long wavy gold hair in a ponytail. This lovely picture brings me back to one of my favorite memories: watching my own homeschooled kindergartener daughter, dressed in overalls and wavy brunette ponytail, encased in a soft sunbeam while she peacefully played with blocks on the playroom floor. That simple scene had taken my breath away; I knew I’d remember it forever. I didn’t know that I’d one day get to relive the delight of that moment with her daughter, my home-educated granddaughter. Out of necessity, I homeschooled my two children before anyone—including me—knew much about homeschooling, aside from seeing it as a distant, strange concept. We moved often, and I decided I wouldn’t subject my children to a constant change of schools.

I remember trying to explain our education plan to my mother. I expected her to disapprove. After all, she had raised me on the mantra “Education. Education. Education.” She herself was a pulmonologist and had proudly graduated first in her medical school class. School was such a big deal in my family that I was nervous to tell her. But I had underestimated her. When she saw our situation for what it was, she said something I didn’t expect. She said, “Well, that’s how royalty is raised.” Her supportive approval bolstered me in my resolve.

In the spirit of doing unto others, I purposed to be supportive of my daughter and her husband’s choices one day. After all, educating a child isn’t an easy thing. The biggest problem was my having no idea how to approach homeschooling. Teaching children is truly an art, as displayed by Maria teaching the Von Trapp children to sing in “The Sound of Music.” That scene epitomized my vision of what homeschooling should be. I saw myself as a kind of singing, teaching Maria Von Trapp and my children as play-clothes clad, eager pupils frolicking the countryside with me. That illusion lasted exactly one day before it burst, thanks to a reality check.

I wasn’t as patient, kind, melodious, and natural as Julie Andrews was, and my children weren’t at all hanging on my every word. It was that day that I got a sobering look at my mission. Besides not knowing exactly where to start, nor the scope or sequence of homeschooling, I realized I had everything to learn if I was going to teach my children everything. Everything.

Cumbersome, expensive curriculum manuals resembled thick phone books and didn’t necessarily guide untrained home teachers on the path of imparting knowledge. I often felt lost. Eventually, understanding that it was a matter of survival, I pitched the expensive books I had ordered into the trash and created a plan much more suited to our time and abilities.

My daughter is now homeschooling her own daughters in what is, thankfully, a vastly improved landscape. Resources abound, as do colleagues. Mentors and lessons can be found on the internet. Mom groups are available with scheduled playdates. And curriculum? Curriculum is ever so much more user-friendly.

Mother, father and daughter are painting eggs. Happy family are preparing for Easter. Cute little child girl wearing bunny ears. (Shutterstock)

Homeschool friends are now easier to find in churches, social media groups, and tutorial schools. Thanks to the 2020 COVID-19 lockdowns, tutors and teachers are advertising online and in-person lessons. Even the school districts have conceded that homeschooling can be the right choice, depending on a family’s needs. Curriculum writers have learned to pare down and condense instructions and rewrite lessons to launch a parent right into teaching. The curriculum is so much more appealing to students as well.

Back in the pre-internet day, I was fairly desperate for mentoring and support. I often upbraided myself for not being more resourceful. It was hard to find clubs, doings, activities, or anything for homeschool communities. Fortunately for me back then, a very gifted angel of mercy—a very talented homeschool mom—organized a cooperative tutorial school the year before we moved out of state. Another mom established a roller skating day.

Recently, I asked my daughter what grandparents could do to be more supportive of homeschooling. She said without hesitation that helping pay for lessons ranks high. It’s very appreciated. One model for this kind of help is providing a one-time contribution into a bank account for parents, which they can use to budget throughout the year to subsidize expenses: curriculum, lessons, rentals, and field trips. With some of the financial burden off of their shoulders, the parents are freed to focus on lessons of all sorts.

One arrangement that I would have loved as an early homeschooler is what we have with our daughter now. One day each week—Terrific Tuesdays—the girls spend the day at their paternal grandmother’s house playing, gardening, cooking, and exploring. Sometimes they have slumber parties. Mumsee and Pops’s day is on Thursdays. I teach what my granddaughter named “art craft.” It’s a good name, because she’s being introduced to the fine arts while still doing crafty things like Mod-podging a balloon to make a paper ball. We’ve acted out books, sat at the piano, read aloud, talked, and are currently learning to needlepoint. We’ve baked bread, colored, and painted rocks.

These grandparent days afford my daughter time for rest and planning. She has used them professionally to illustrate two books. What a wonderful thing for her to have time for her own pursuits. On those days, she does a few lessons in the morning, but then has time to use as she needs. Alleviating time stress helps home-educating families function more smoothly.

There was a study that found that grandparents that spend regular time with their grandchildren remained more mentally flexible and generally experienced better health and well-being.

Nobody can accurately describe the blessing of grandchildren. When I first experienced being a grandparent, I knew it was a joy one had to experience to understand. The Bible says that grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and that a good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children. What a joy and a privilege to get to participate in my grandchildren’s development, all while imparting an inheritance. It tires a grandparent out in one way, but serves as a fountain of youth in another.

Chicago-born, Boston University-educated, first-generation American, and freelance writer Evelyn Glover has traveled the world with her college-sweetheart husband of 34 years. They live near their grandchildren in Franklin, Tennessee, where they pursue and teach many varied arts: writing, cooking, painting, needlework, piano, and cello.