The sky was overcast and there was a light rain as we stepped out of our vehicle on December 14, 2019. We fell in line behind dozens of others en route to Arlington National Cemetery, passing the iconic Iwo Jima monument along the way. Our minds were being primed for the task for which we had come: to remember and to honor.
We entered the cemetery alongside hundreds of volunteers for the Wreaths Across America event. We walked in relative silence, which was not the usual behavior for our sons (then 9 and 12 years old), the atmosphere understandably somber and respectful. My husband, an active-duty soldier who served in Iraq in two separate wars, set the tone as we gazed upon endless rows of grave markers on the hallowed ground across which we trod.
For what did we come? To honor the fallen who lay at Arlington. To express gratitude to the brave service members who are interred there, and to join in sympathy with family members who grieve their absence. To remember the sacrifices others have made for our great nation through their selfless service, and to honor their memory. To thank God for their lives, and to lift their souls up in prayer. Not least of all was to instill awe in our sons as we held up a model of citizenship and love of country by which to measure themselves in the future.
Citizenship. Service. Love of Country. What are they, and how do we teach them to our children? You can attempt to define them, or read about them in a textbook. But will this help children understand what it truly means to be a citizen of a nation with the duties, rights, and privileges that entails? To live a life of service? To love their country? There is a better way. Make your lessons come alive by engaging the imagination, and your children will know the true meaning of these things.
How? You can reflect on lessons of service by sharing family stories, such as your father’s harrowing experience with a water cooler during a suspected raid while serving in Korea during the Vietnam War. Or share a picture of your Grandpa in uniform, and tell how he often had to manually open the doors to drop bombs from a B-29 when the controls failed during one of his 30 missions over the Pacific. Or Dad can paint a picture for them of the landscape rife with burning oil fields as he trekked across Kuwait during the first Gulf War.
If no one in your family has been in the Armed Forces, then seek out veterans of past wars, and talk to them about their experiences. It will be a blessing to your family as well as to the veteran, creating an opportunity to share that might not otherwise exist.
Poetry and stories are also excellent ways through which your children can learn about patriotism and service. Who can read such poems as Tennyson’s “Charge of the Light Brigade” or Browning’s “Incident of The French Camp” without being awed by pictures of discipline and courage? In “Abigail Adams: Witness to a Revolution,” Natalie Bober writes about John Quincy Adams observing his mother melt their pewter spoons to be used to make bullets. Sixty-eight years later, John Quincy would say, “Do you wonder that a boy of seven who witnessed this scene should be a patriot?” Even “Miss Rumphius,” a picture book by Barbara Cooney, is a lesson in service that will inspire your children with Miss Rumphius’ desire to spread beauty to the world around her.
Finally, you can bring lessons to life, making them tangible and real, by participating in events such as Wreaths Across America at your local cemetery.
Wreaths Across America is an organization whose mission is “to Remember, Honor, and Teach” by coordinating wreath-laying ceremonies at Arlington National Cemetery, as well as at more than 2,100 cemeteries across the United States and abroad.
Our 2019 experience was unforgettable. As volunteers began to clog the roads of the cemetery, they were joined by dozens of 18-wheelers, each containing hundreds of fresh pine wreaths decorated with a single red bow. Our mission was to decorate each grave with a wreath as a symbol of gratitude and a means of remembrance.
As we carried each wreath, we taught our sons to say the name engraved upon each headstone aloud in tribute to the deceased before laying the wreath against the stone. We knew that, in a world that shows increasing confusion about freedom and justice, we were honoring true heroes. Their sense of duty to country and selfless service in laying down their lives to preserve our freedoms are staggering.
My heart’s desire is for my sons to become steadfast defenders of freedom and liberty in the spirit of the Founding Fathers, who pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor as true servant-leaders. The military members who lie in rest at Arlington National Cemetery exemplify such service. We honor and remember them with our sons in hopes that our boys will not become what C.S. Lewis describes as “men without chests,” but that they will embrace virtues of strength, boldness, discipline, and courage that once defined what it meant to be a man in America.
It was an honor to participate in the Wreaths Across America event, and we look forward to doing so again this year. We felt blessed to recognize these true heroes and their families. I pray that my sons will understand what valor and honor look like, and participating in Wreaths Across America made those intangible qualities come to life. They are embodied in the fallen men and women in Arlington and other cemeteries across the nation. Let us never forget the price they paid and never dishonor their sacrifices for our liberty.
Dawn Duran is the wife of a soldier and mother of two sons who has grounded their family homeschool in the educational philosophy of Charlotte Mason. Dawn leads classes in Plutarch and Shakespeare for young scholars in the Charlotte Mason Maryland community.
