“History, to me, is so easy to sell,” said Brian Kilmeade. “If it’s done with passion, you can’t say that it’s boring and uninteresting.”
Most people know Mr. Kilmeade as co-host of the Fox News morning show “Fox & Friends.” He’ll be the first to tell you he loves his job. But his passion is history. Mr. Kilmeade is the author of eight books, all related in some way to American history. His first two, written more than 15 years ago, are sports-related. His last six, however, discuss more serious historical matters.
Mr. Kilmeade has written about George Washington’s spy ring, Thomas Jefferson’s war against the Barbary pirates, Andrew Jackson and the Battle of New Orleans, Sam Houston and the Texas Revolution, the relationship between Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass, and, most recently, the relationship between Theodore Roosevelt and Booker T. Washington. Although the first four focused on American military history, the tune changes slightly in his last two offerings. He suggests that the change is more incidental than predetermined.
“I’m just trying to move through time, and I got to the Civil War,” he said. “It was really about [Lincoln and Douglass] and how they got through that rough time together. Their partnership was way too short, but very effective. Then we had Reconstruction, then the falling apart of Reconstruction, then the 20th century, and then in comes Jim Crow, and I thought how do I move through time and tell the story between two people.”
Mr. Kilmeade said he had read Washington’s autobiography “Up from Slavery” before he settled on writing about Lincoln and Douglass. The book captivated him, and then he learned that Theodore Roosevelt had been just as taken by Washington’s writing.
Theodore Roosevelt speaking at National Business League. (Public Domain)
Roosevelt and Washington: Self-Made Men
“After Teddy Roosevelt did what I did (that’s my only comparison with Teddy Roosevelt, I promise) and read ‘Up from Slavery,’ [he] gave it to his wife, who couldn’t put it down. And she said, ‘We have to meet this guy,’” Mr. Kilmeade said. “The first time they met was April 1, 1901. They immediately knew they could help each other.”
Roosevelt and Washington, despite growing up in vastly different environments, had something important in common, Mr. Kilmeade explained. They were both self-made men.
Washington, as his autobiography suggests, was born a slave nine years before the end of the Civil War. After emancipation, his family moved to West Virginia, where he worked in a salt furnace and a coal mine. Desiring an education, he traveled, mainly on foot, to Hampton Normal and Agricultural Institute (now Hampton University) in 1872. He was provided a job as a janitor to pay his room and board, and a benefactor paid for his education. After graduating in 1875, he went back to West Virginia to teach for two years. He returned to university for eight months at Wayland Seminary in the nation’s capital. He joined the staff at Hampton, but he was soon selected to lead a new school in Alabama: the Tuskegee Normal School (now Tuskegee University), an institution to train African American teachers. Under his guidance, the school grew exponentially. Washington went on to write 40 books, became a prolific speaker, and assembled a network of some of the nation’s most powerful people, including Andrew Carnegie, J.P. Morgan, and Teddy Roosevelt.
Roosevelt was born to an uncertain fate. Plagued by illness, including asthma, the future president was not expected to live very long. His father advised him, “You have the mind but you have not the body. You must make your body.” Roosevelt began a lifelong undertaking of sporting challenges, including hunting, hiking, boxing, and exploration. Roosevelt, along with his speeches, wrote 45 books, and he became one of the most influential politicians in American history.
A portrait of Booker T. Washington photographed by Christopher Ethelbert Cheyne in 1903. (Public Domain)
Keeping the Path
Seven months after their first meeting, Washington was invited to dine with Roosevelt and his family at the White House. It was the first time a black person had ever dined at the White House, and the only time for a long period afterward due to political and social backlash. This backlash came primarily from the Southern press and politicians.
“In their case, they changed their strategy, but they didn’t change their relationship,” Mr. Kilmeade said. “Roosevelt was totally shocked by it. But they kept their path together. They would have done more if they thought America was ready for it.”
Mr. Kilmeade explained that both Roosevelt and Washington continued to help each other’s causes. Whether it was Roosevelt assisting Washington’s pursuit for educational progress within the black community, or Washington assisting Roosevelt in obtaining the black vote for reelection, the two forged a bond that, as Mr. Kilmeade’s book suggests, cleared a path for racial equality.
The topic of Mr. Kilmeade’s two latest books is the idea of racial equality. He believes the topic is timely for a moment where “we seem to be more obsessed with race in this country, now more than ever.”
Country singer Granger Smith started out young, playing in Texas venues at the fresh age of 14. But after nearly three decades in the music industry, Mr. Smith announced last year that he would take a break from making music to focus on his faith, deciding to become a minister and serve his local church.
His career was filled with ups and downs. “In 2005, I put out an album called ‘Livin’ Like a Lonestar,’ but no one bought it. I thought nobody cared. I spent all my money to record that album, so I thought I was done. But then, one of the songs called ‘We Bleed Maroon’ went viral, and sales soared on the single.” Mr. Smith stayed the course and even dabbled in comedy by recording comedic sketches under an alter ego he developed, Earl Dibbles Jr.
But in 2019, personal tragedy struck. His 3-year-old son River accidentally drowned in the family pool, and Mr. Smith went through a soul-searching journey to process the grief. His wife, Amber Smith, recounted, “It was by the grace of God that got us through each day because we realized we all grieve differently. Our daughter was very emotional, while our son didn’t cry for a year after the accident. You do your best to lift each other up when one is having a hard day or you understand when to give the other person their space,” she said.
In a book he published last year, “Like a River,” Mr. Smith documented how he reconnected with his faith and found healing through his spiritual journey. “One day, it became overwhelmingly clear that I wanted to share my message with others, especially those dealing with similar situations,” he said. Since then, the couple has devoted its efforts to raising public awareness about childhood drowning, which, according to the CDC, is the leading cause of death for children 1 to 4 years old, and sharing important safety tips for parents.
Mr. Smith spoke about his future plans and his wish to spread hope to others going through grief.
This interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.
(Micah Kandros)
American Essence: What do you hope for your music audience and those who read your book?
Granger Smith: To remember life is going to have its hardships and difficulties, but we need to talk to others about it. Don’t hold onto your grief and sorrow. Remember to hold onto your faith. When you isolate yourself, it can be dangerous, and negative feelings can overwhelm you. Don’t think that by sharing your feelings you are being a burden to someone else because we are all going to deal with difficulties in life and we all will need someone during those times. Remember, we are not alone. God is always with us.
AE: You also played a starring role in the 2022 movie “Moonrise” about a country singer who has to deal with the loss of his wife. Did you find it therapeutic to take on the role of a widower?
Mr. Smith: When I read the script and I thought, well, I know how to be that guy and I can understand that role better than most because I have lived through this type of loss. It allowed me to work through my grief but also was a distraction because it allowed me to do something different with the craft of acting and all that goes into making a movie and creating a character. If the right script comes along, I would be open to do more acting.
Granger Smith performs onstage at the Stagecoach Country Music Festival at Empire Polo Field in Indio, Calif., April 2018. (Jason Kempin/Getty Images)
AE: You started the River Kelly Fund, which contributes to causes such as helping children in need, arts and education, wildlife preservation, and first responder assistance. Tell us what it means to you.
Mr. Smith: The grief still comes in waves but we look for joy each day because of our faith. We grieve with hope, and we trust that God will carry us through. We started the River Kelly Fund, and that helped us find purpose and some glimmer of hope. Over the last four years, we have donated over half a million dollars to help others going through suffering.
AE: You announced last year that you decided to shift your focus from music to ministry. To be clear, you are not retiring, but you are focusing on your spiritual care and serving in your local church while studying theology. How is that going?
Mr. Smith: That is correct, I am not retiring. I have shifted my focus to reaching out to those who are suffering and dealing with heartbreak and grief. I still play my music, but now it has a different intent and purpose. I have hopefully played music that gave people joy and forget their troubles but because of what I have been through, I can relate to others directly to their heart. It is much more difficult than before, but it is more rewarding.
Mr. Smith performing at the Country Thunder Milwaukee festival in Twin Lakes, Wisconsin, July 23, 2016. (Timothy Hiatt/Getty Images for Country Thunder)
AE: American Essence celebrates our country and the beauty we find in it. What do you enjoy about living in Texas, the Lone Star State?
Mr. Smith: The Lone Star State has all the great attributes that the country has to offer especially with the geography. It has the deep piney forest, the big open plains, the canyons, the mountains, the valleys, the country farmland, and the big beautiful urban cities. So really, we have something for everyone, even the desert and the swamps. So, whatever you like to do, you are sure to find it in Texas.
Mr. Smith with his wife, Amber, and their children (L to R) Maverick, London, and Lincoln. (Courtesy of Granger Smith)
About Granger Smith
Mr. Smith and his wife, Amber, live north of Austin, Texas, with their kids London, Lincoln, and Maverick.
Mr. Smith first met his wife on the set of one of his songs’ music video shooting. She’s been featured in several of his music videos since then.
He supports the military through organizations like Boot Campaign and Soldier’s Child Foundation, and he has produced a documentary, “They Were There: A Hero’s Documentary,” about the lives of five military members who died in service to our country.
“Backroad Song,” released in 2016, was Granger’s first top 10 hit on the Billboard Country Airplay chart.
He launched Yee Yee Apparel, which is named after his signature catchphrase. The website describes it as “an outdoor lifestyle brand for hard working Americans who value patriotism, the outdoors, and the defense of America’s freedoms.”
Mr. Smith has over 12 million followers on social media. He also records a podcast, “Granger Smith Podcast,” that discusses a broad range of topics, from faith, relationships, and music to having a positivity mindset.
Stephen M.R. Covey speaks at an event in Moscow, November 2017. (Photo_Doc/Shutterstock)
In the world of leadership and trust, few names resonate as strongly as Stephen M.R. Covey. He carries a legacy closely tied to his father’s groundbreaking work, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” which was one of the most influential self-improvement books of the 20th century.
Mr. Covey co-founded CoveyLink, a consultancy firm, and is a leader at the coaching company co-founded by his father, FranklinCovey, both of which emphasize a movement toward trust and increased transparency in business ethics. His philosophy centers on the belief that nothing moves as swiftly as the speed of trust, making trust between partners critical for navigating the global economy. He defines leadership as producing results while inspiring trust, a pragmatic approach that enhances an organization’s ability to execute existing strategies. Mr. Covey’s insights on trust, leadership, ethics, and high performance have made him a sought-after speaker and advisor.
In this interview with American Essence, Mr. Covey discusses his latest book, “Trust & Inspire: How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness in Others,” in which he challenges the traditional “Command & Control” model of leadership in favor of “Trust & Inspire,” whereby leaders can foster creativity and potential within people.
This interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.
American Essence: What prompted you to explore the theme of trust in leadership and organizations as a central focus of your life’s work?
Mr. Covey: I was profoundly influenced by my father, Dr. Stephen R. Covey. Certainly by his professional work, but before it was out in the world it was in our home—we kids were the first guinea pigs!
In “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” book, my father tells the story of “Green & Clean,” which is about teaching me to take care of our lawn when I was 7 years old. He uses the story to illustrate stewardship and win-win agreements. But I was 7—I had no idea what those things even meant! I just knew that he trusted me, and I didn’t want to let him down.
Through the years, it has become clear to me that being trusted is the most inspiring form of human motivation. Going into business, and particularly as a CEO, I began to really understand that trust is not merely a soft, social virtue but rather a hard-edged, economic driver. Trust always affects the speed at which we can move, and the cost of everything.
Over time, I began to see the presence (or absence) of trust everywhere and in everything. It became clear that trust is the one thing that changes everything, and that trust is a learnable skill—a competency. Experiencing and understanding trust from this perspective is what makes trust so powerful, so accessible, and so relevant.
AE: Can you discuss the importance of nurturing talent in others and how it ties into the concept of inspiring leadership?
Mr. Covey: I like the way this question is asked. One of the 5 Fundamental Beliefs of Trust & Inspire Leaders is that “people have greatness inside of them—so my job as a leader is to unleash their potential, not control them.” The implication of this belief is that there is genuine talent within everyone.
I maintain that the role of a leader is like that of a gardener, where the real power, the potential, is within the seed. The word “inspire” comes from the Latin word “inspirare,” which means “to breathe life into.” Without the proper conditions—water, soil, light—a seed will remain dormant, never realizing what it can do or become. The gardener nurtures and creates the right conditions for that seed to grow and flourish.
With people, we first have to really see someone’s potential. I like how Henry David Thoreau put it: “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” When we see another’s potential, we can then communicate it to them so that they come to see it themselves. Then, our job as leaders is to develop their potential, and then, ultimately, to unleash it. It’s an ongoing cycle: see, communicate, develop, and unleash potential.
AE: Can you elaborate on the central concept of “Trust & Inspire” and how it addresses the challenges of traditional leadership models in today’s world?
Mr. Covey: The basis for traditional leadership flows heavily out of the industrial age. It’s often referred to as “Command & Control.” It’s all about efficiency and getting results through people. That’s not a bad thing; people are the ones who do the work, and we’ve made a great deal of progress in how they’re treated over the years. The central premise, though, is that people are a means to an end. Trust & Inspire is also centrally focused on results, but recognizes that people are not just a “means to an end”; they are an end, in and of themselves.
When people experience that they and their own growth and development matter as much as the results they produce, they’re inspired. When people are inspired, they’re able to tap into far greater levels of energy, engagement, creativity, passion, and commitment. They become phenomenally capable and perform better. Plus, they experience greater well-being. You simply cannot “Command & Control” this kind of performance out of people—you can’t buy it out of them. But they are able to tap into this, and contribute this, when they feel trusted and inspired.
(Biba Kayewich for American Essence)
AE: In your view, what are the key attributes that differentiate a leader who focuses on trust and inspiration from one who relies on authority and control?
Mr. Covey: Command & Control and Trust & Inspire are both focused on outcomes. Command & Control leaders tend to rely heavily on management of both people and things to get outcomes. Trust & Inspire leaders differentiate between management and leadership. Both skill sets are vital, but they are as different as they are important. The reality is that people don’t want to be managed, they want to be led. They want to be trusted, they want to be inspired.
AE: Could you provide an example from your book that illustrates the transformational impact of the “Trust & inspire” leadership model on an organization or team?
Mr. Covey: The transformation at Microsoft after Satya Nadella became CEO is a good case-in-point. At the time, the organization was really struggling. In Nadella’s words, “Innovation was being replaced by bureaucracy. Teamwork was being replaced by internal politics. We were falling behind.” They were also losing talent left and right. Satya came in, working closely with his executive vice president of human resources, Kathleen Hogan, and focused on changing the culture. They started with themselves and modeled the kind of behavior they were seeking: humility and courage, authenticity and vulnerability, empathy and performance. The leadership paradigm became one of trusting and inspiring others, manifested by adopting a growth mindset, not just for the leaders, but for everyone.
AE: In your research and experience, what challenges might leaders face when transitioning to a more trust-based leadership style? Any advice on how they can overcome these challenges?
Mr. Covey: I’ve learned the biggest barrier to becoming a Trust & Inspire leader tends to be that most people think they already are one! It’s a good problem to have because in general many really are partway there. What I find when I share what a Trust & Inspire leader is, people completely agree with the concept—intellectually. We know Command & Control doesn’t work well, and I don’t know that I have come across anyone who hasn’t experienced a Trust & Inspire leader somewhere in their life. The difference is night and day, the impact is profound, and most intend to lead this way and be this kind of leader for others.
What happens is that “style” often gets in the way of intent. We’re all deeply scripted, and when the pressure is on, we tend to go for efficiency and revert to what we know. This theme comes up constantly. The good news is that we can learn and choose to match our style to our intent.
People really want to operate this way, but have genuine concerns. They may feel like “this clearly is better, but it just won’t work here,” or “this is who I am, it’s who I’ve always been.” Some may sincerely fear “what if I lose control?” or “I don’t know how to let go.” These are all valid concerns, and I offer a mindset and solution to each of them.
(Biba Kayewich for American Essence)
AE: What strategies can leaders use to create an environment that encourages open communication, risk-taking, and learning from failures?
Mr. Covey: I highlight three stewardships of Trust & Inspire leaders: Modeling, Trusting, & Inspiring. Modeling is always the best place to start. Go first. Someone needs to go first. Leaders go first. Model open communication, risk-taking, and learning from failure.
Trusting others deliberately and explicitly to do the same is incredibly powerful. When they have your trust and really know that your trust is in them, rather than being conditional upon the outcome, you get far better outcomes.
Inspiring is to take an experience, even a failure, and imbue it with purpose. It proves the risk is worth it. It encourages a worker to become a creator.
When we model, trust, and inspire, we cultivate fertile soil that encourages and brings the very best out of others.
AE: Could you share some practical techniques or exercises from your book that leaders can use to build trust and inspire their teams?
Mr. Covey: On building trust, we certainly have to be trustworthy, but I work with organizations all over the world that are filled with trustworthy people, and yet, have low trust. To really build trust, you have to give it to get it. In other words, you not only need to be trustworthy, you need to be trusting. Look for ways to extend meaningful trust.
To inspire, start with yourself. It’s like the airline metaphor: Put your own mask on first before helping others. If you’re not inspired, you’ll have a hard time inspiring anyone else. An unlit candle cannot light other candles, but a lit candle can.
Second, connect with people through genuine caring and building a real sense of belonging. Caring will allow you to inspire others, and belonging on a team leads to the team inspiring each other.
An exercise I might add, that has an enormous impact on both building trust and inspiring, is this: Treat people according to their potential, not their behavior. There’s no better way to unleash that potential. Practice this. Don’t “eat the elephant all at once” and try to do this with everyone. Begin with one person. Ask yourself, “Who in my personal or professional life would benefit most by being trusted and inspired by me?” And then start there.
At the world’s largest gathering of twins, there’s a surreal feeling upon laying eyes on so many similar faces in the same place at the same time—akin to being dropped into a parallel dimension. The Twins Days Festival has been held in Twinsburg, Ohio, annually since 1976. An atmosphere of whimsy and joy permeates the gathering. With this year’s theme being “welcome to the jungle” (past themes include fairy tales, outer space, Westerns, and Noah’s Ark), parade participants and spectators alike dressed in safari outfits, animal prints, and other vibrant costumes. Fun contests are held to determine the most alike and least alike in different age groups.
This year, 2,145 twins registered for the festival. It’s not unusual for twins to attend year after year. The event doesn’t simply celebrate the unique bond that twins share; the organizer also raises funds for local graduating seniors’ college scholarships, as well as dedicated causes such as medical research related to rare diseases that affect twins. For twins and non-twins alike, the festival is a joyous moment.
I’m not sure why I react as I do, but when I hear our national anthem and see our Stars and Stripes raised high, I tear up. I always have; I always will.
I think of moments in the past when our flag has particularly moved me. 9/11—the first responders raising a tattered flag over the smoking remains of the Twin Towers, a flag symbolizing “United We Stand.” Or the photo of a sweet little girl poised atop her daddy’s shoulders, looking to the heavens, clutching a tiny flag in her hand. I have seen too many flag-draped caskets cradling the remains of our brave soldiers and first responders who gave their precious lives for our country. And the entire landscape at Arlington National Cemetery is draped with the red, white, and blue of our heroes who fought to protect the sovereignty of our land.
But I add to these the happy times and happy tears.
As retirees in 2000, my husband and I were hired as staff members on a Semester at Sea study-abroad program. We joined 700 college students on a four-month voyage around the world on a beautiful ship, the MV Explorer. As we set sail out of Coal Harbor in Vancouver, families and friends waved our beautiful flag from the shore in Stanley Park, bidding us farewell. I thought four months would pass before we would see Old Glory again. But I was mistaken. American flags greeted us in our first port, Kobe, Japan, as Japanese beauties waved them in welcome. And, reminding us of our influence abroad, our flags graced the entrances of the U.S. embassies we passed by during our sojourn in 13 countries. Then, months later in Havana, Cuba, our final port, I was once again moved to patriotic tears.
Thinking that a sporting event might encourage camaraderie and serve as an icebreaker between our students and theirs, Semester at Sea staff and the athletic director at the University of Havana organized a basketball game pitting our students against the university’s varsity team. When we entered the gymnasium, we found our opponent’s team in full uniform, standing in solemn attention. Suddenly, a Cuban student marched in, proudly waving our Stars and Stripes, our national anthem resounding throughout the stadium. Everyone, Cubans and Americans together, stood in quiet respect. Here I am, in the heart of communist Cuba, moved to tears by our flag and the glorious music of our country.
Years pass, and we have built a beach house adjacent to a naval base in California. Every morning at 8 a.m., our national anthem resounds over their loudspeakers. Our little granddaughter Mia visits often, and we open the patio door and call her over. Since my husband, her “Papa,” is the quintessential flag waver, we tell her that “Papa’s song” is playing, and “when we hear it, we put our hands on our hearts, we stand still, and we listen.” She follows our lead, placing her hand on her chest, standing at attention. When the anthem ends, we all clap and cheer.
Years later, on a shopping trip to our local Costco Warehouse, Mia is seated in the cart, holding the bouquet of white roses we’ve selected. We pass a display of speakers emitting a patriotic tune. It’s not our national anthem, but for her, it’s close enough. She calls out to me. “Nai Nai! Stop!” Transferring the roses to her left hand, she places her right hand on her chest. “Nai Nai! Hand!” she exclaims. “Papa’s song!” So there we stand, in the middle of a crowded aisle, hands over our hearts, as our little girl attempts to sing along to a random song with the few words of her “Papa’s song” that she remembers.
No—it wasn’t quite the same as stealth bombers flying over the Super Bowl following the playing of our national anthem. It wasn’t quite the moment in the gymnasium in Havana, Cuba. It wasn’t quite the moment of seeing Old Glory hoisted up the flagpole and hearing our country’s anthem blasting on the MV Explorer as we pulled into the Port of New Orleans that December of 2000 after our four-month voyage around the world. But it was a precious moment—one not without a tear.
Now that she’s older, my sweet Mia is beginning to understand the real meaning of “Papa’s song.” As American author Henry James said, “I think patriotism is like charity. It begins at home.” I’m confident that throughout her life, whenever Mia sings “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” she will reflect on when, how, and why she learned to stand at attention to honor our flag and our country.
RaeLynn photographed at a horse ranch outside of Nashville, Tenn. (Adhiraj Chakrabarti for American Essence)
It’s easy to see why the audience went crazy as the name “RaeLynn” flashed across the screen during one concert night in Phoenix, Arizona. When the 29-year-old country music star sings about her hometown, or about gettin’ rowdy or raising a daughter or living through her parents’ divorce, she is singing the thoughts and feelings, the memories and hopes, of the thousands of people listening.
For RaeLynn, it’s not about her; it’s about the fans. “I got into country music for the same reason you did,” RaeLynn told the cheering crowd. “For the stories.”
RaeLynn performs for the 2022 AmericaFest, at the Phoenix Convention Center, Arizona. (Courtesy of RaeLynn)
Singing From the Heart
The stories RaeLynn sings are as rich and as varied as America itself. It might be about the comfort of the familiar in a small town from “I Love My Hometown” (which, in RaeLynn’s case, is Baytown, Texas):
I love that mom and pop Wingstop shop
With ten different shades of hot
I love that football field and that wheelin’ dealin’
Down at the used car lot.
It could be the joy of parenting a daughter in “Raisin’ Me a Country Girl”:
She’ll have pink painted on her toes
While she’s drinkin’ from the water hose
Growin’ up where the sweet corn grows
With her Sunday school down the road.
Or being a little bit sassy in “Keep Up”:
Yeah I rock Gucci gang, but I got Baytown twang
That lifted pickup in the parking lot, I own that thing
Yeah, I know my drink might be all pretty pink
But don’t you let that fool you, I’m more backwoods than you think.
Or it might be something more serious. Like child trafficking.
RaeLynn frequently tours around the country, whether headlining or singing as a guest performer with other artists. (Acacia Evans)
“I didn’t really know the severity of it until I became a mom,” RaeLynn said by phone from her home in Nashville. True to her image—which is also her reality—she’s taken the time to chat with American Essence between making a green bean casserole and a buttermilk pie the day before Thanksgiving.
“I’d always been a fan of O.U.R.”—referring to Operation Underground Railroad, the nonprofit dedicated to combating child sex trafficking. “But when my daughter was born and I found out how bad it is, the Mama Bear instinct kicked in and I wanted to help. … It’s a real issue. People don’t realize that children go missing every day.”
Mama Bear Raelynn swung into action with the song, “It’s Happening Right Here,” written for the 2022 documentary of the same name. “If you have a platform, God didn’t give you that for nothing. It’s important to speak about things that are going on in the world that some people don’t want to speak about. It’s important to educate yourself on the signs that it’s happening.” She warns in song to be alert to the danger of traffickers:
It’s happenin’ right here
It’s happenin’ right now
Yeah, once you turn the light on
You can’t just turn it out
It’s behind the door, just up the street
Down the hall on a cell phone screen
It’s a wake-up call for us all in the mirror
It’s happenin’ right here
Oh, right here
There’s power when the silence breaks
So for every son and daughter’s sake
A few simple words just might save a life
So we gotta talk, we gotta try, we gotta fight.
Family and Fun
Born Racheal Lynn Woodward to working-class parents, RaeLynn grew up knowing the value of a hard day’s work: “My dad took me to his tire shop every day. I grew up there. It was his dream to own his own business and I would help him. I learned that money doesn’t grow on trees and you have to chase your dream.”
RaeLynn has started teaching her young daughter, Daisy Rae, the same principles by taking her into meetings to see mom at work. “I think it’s important to let Daisy into my world,” she said. Daisy Rae’s dad is former pro athlete Josh Davis, whom RaeLynn married in 2016. Daisy Rae came along in 2021.
“Being a mother and a wife comes first in my life,” RaeLynn said. Balancing family with career “has its hard days and its good days,” but being self-employed at least gives her flexibility. After taking a break from the touring world, she will go back on the road in 2024.
RaeLynn with her husband Joshua Davis and daughter Daisy Rae. (Lauren Moll)
RaeLynn’s career started in 2012 when she appeared on Season 2 of the hit singing competition reality show, “The Voice.” She returned to “The Voice” the following season to debut her single “Boyfriend,” which sold 27,000 copies in its debut week and made RaeLynn the first post-“The Voice” contestant to appear on the Billboard rankings. After that, she sang with Blake Shelton, wrote a song with Miranda Lambert, toured with Garth Brooks, and raced down the path of her dream career. RaeLynn’s 2014 hit “God Made Girls” went platinum, and as of December 2023, she had received 840 million career streams.
RaeLynn was inspired by the giants of the country music industry’s women: Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette. She feels the responsibility of carrying on their legacy, and that means “staying honest and being vulnerable.” One of RaeLynn’s most honest moments in song came with 2016’s “Love Triangle,” a heart-breaking account of being raised the child of divorce, shunted between mom and dad. The song went gold and was praised by critics as an important addition to country music. “I get inspiration from a lot of places, but I definitely write a lot from the heart,” she said.
RaeLynn peruses her favorite records. This part of her house is where she goes to make music. (Adhiraj Chakrabarti for American Essence)
“The next album I’m working on is very special. It goes deeper into the motherhood aspect of where I’m at in life. When you become a mom, everything is raised to the next level,” she added. She has been contemplating, “‘How should I run my family? What do I want my family to look like?’ I’ve been writing from that perspective.”
Of course, it won’t all be strictly serious.
“I picked country music because you have that line of faith and hard work, but also everyone’s having a good time, drinking a beer and talking with friends and listening to songs on the radio.” Her songs go both places.
As a married woman for the last eight years, RaeLynn said faith and family have been at the pinnacle of her life. To fuel her livelier songs, she has had to turn to friends and acquaintances: “I have a lot of single friends, and I’ve heard a lot of crazy stories!” Into her songs they go.
America’s Musical Genre
Songwriting is key to country music because storytelling is what it’s all about. RaeLynn said her songs sometimes start with picking a melody on the guitar and thinking of a lyric to go with it, but they can also begin with words first, followed by music added later. She writes her songs in collaboration with a network of Nashville songwriters.
RaeLynn is openly patriotic. “My patriotism shows because I’m not afraid to talk about it,” she said. “I’ve always been an open book about my love for this country. Right now, it’s especially important not to be timid about how you feel. I recently wrote a song about the importance of the flag.” RaeLynn’s husband, it should be noted, joined the military a year after their marriage.
(Adhiraj Chakrabarti for American Essence)
Country music has had its ups and downs, but for RaeLynn, the present is all up: “Country music is in a good place right now. What gets me excited about Nashville is you still hear great songs coming out. The cream of the crop is writing and recording great new songs. If the great songs stop coming out, then that’s when I’ll stop, too.” She doesn’t see that happening soon.
“I’m inspired by Cody Johnson’s new song, ‘Dirt Cheap.’ As long as we have people like that writing songs about folks who work hard for their families and who believe in this country and what it stands for, then I think we’re going to be alright.”
This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.
Seventy-five years ago, California got its first taste of a drive-thru hamburger. Harry and Esther Snyder opened a modest 10-by-10-foot hamburger stand in Baldwin Park just east of Los Angeles. The sign read: “In-N-Out Hamburgers: No Delay.” Had the original location not stood in the way of the incoming Interstate 10 that stretches across the continental United States, it would still be standing. In 2014, as an homage to the original, the fast food chain constructed an exact replica of the hamburger stand near its original location. Since that first hamburger stand opened on October 22, 1948, at 4:15 pm, In-N-Out Burger has built more than 400 locations, and it has expanded as far north as Oregon and as far east as Texas.
Lynsi Snyder is the granddaughter of Harry and Esther and became president of the major fast food company in 2010. Under her guiding hand, In-N-Out Burger has continued to thrive and expand, not as a corporate conglomerate, but as a family business. As with the reconstruction of the original location, the third-generation Snyder has vowed to use the company’s history to guide its future.
(Courtesy of In-N-Out Burger)
The core of that history originates from what was known as “Harry’s bible”—a collection of managerial principles concerning how to serve customers and treat employees, ranging from how to properly toast buns to accurately filling out a daily report. “Most of the basics that my grandfather taught his managers are followed to this day,” Ms. Snyder said.
She noted that the priorities of the company are always its customers and employees, and that In-N-Out Burger seeks ways to go beyond what is expected in both customer service and work environment. “Our customers are our number one asset. They are what drive our commitment to quality, friendliness, and cleanliness,” she said. “It’s about giving the customer exactly what they want as long as it doesn’t compromise food safety or throw off our operation. Saying yes whenever possible is part of who we are.”
Lynsi Snyder with her grandmother Esther. (Courtesy of Lynsi Snyder)
From the Top
Ms. Snyder details what gave rise to this company culture in her new book, “The Ins-N-Outs of In-N-Out Burger: The Inside Story of California’s First Drive-Thru and How It Became a Beloved Cultural Icon.” The book is an amalgamation exemplifying how today’s restaurant chain continues to embrace yesterday’s core values.
In order for customers to remain satisfied, or more than satisfied, with their experience, Ms. Snyder acknowledged that it has to start from the top. It has to start with training. Like any good owner, CEO, or president knows, a company is only as good as its employees. Or to use Snyder’s term: associates. “To me, our associates are family, and we take care of them as such,” she said. “We want people to grow with us, … then stay with our company for the long-term. That’s the legacy of our family life down through the years.”
Tiger Woods with the 2011 cohort of Earl Woods scholars, who receive financial aid, mentoring, and other support for their post-high school careers. (Courtesy of TGR Foundation)
Golfing legend Tiger Woods is most proud of his foundation’s work in educating youth. His TGR Foundation is led by Cynthia Court, whom he tapped in June 2023 to become CEO and expand the educational initiatives the foundation offers in under-resourced communities across America.
According to Mrs. Court, if students do not have access to qualified teachers, stable learning environments, educational resources, extracurricular activities, and advanced classes, they are less likely to graduate from high school or pursue a post-secondary education. This means that they would not be able to secure meaningful work that pays a livable wage.
In 2006, Mr. Woods first set up a TGR Learning Lab to encourage students in fifth to 12th grades to thrive in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) and possibly develop future careers in those fields. Since then, the foundation has established other satellite campuses around the country, in Washington, D.C., South Florida, and Quantico, Virginia.
Mr. Woods occasionally visits the Learning Lab to chat with students. (Courtesy of TGR Foundation)
Students are introduced to different subjects from forensic science to marine biology to biotechnology. High school students in particular have access to hands-on experience through paid internships, shadowing professionals, or helping to complete projects at real businesses.
The foundation also provides mentorship for students who are accepted into the Earl Woods Scholar Program (named after Mr. Woods’s father), with mentors committing at least two years to advising students on their journey to post-high school careers. Many maintain relationships with the students throughout their college years and beyond. Mrs. Court shared that one of the program mentors recently attended the wedding of her mentee—whom she met 17 years ago in the foundation’s first cohort of scholars.
American Essence spoke with Mrs. Court and Mr. Woods about the meaning of their mission.
Tiger Woods Foundation CEO Cynthia Court with an alumnus of the foundation’s program, Natan Santos. (Courtesy of TGR Foundation)
American Essence: Could you share with us a touching example of a youth who found success after participating in a TGR Foundation program?
Cynthia Court: One of the many students who has touched our hearts over the years is Sammy Mohammed. Sammy is the oldest child of an immigrant family and always dreamed of becoming a first-generation college student. Growing up in an under-resourced community in Anaheim, California, he began his journey at our TGR Learning Lab in fifth grade to participate in a week-long STEM field trip focused on marine biology. Motivated, Sammy returned for additional STEM classes through high school where he discovered a passion for computer science and engineering. Sammy was accepted into the Earl Woods Scholar Program in 11th grade and gained Tiger as a mentor. Since graduating from Stanford University, Sammy has begun his engineering career (at Google!) and is currently pursuing a master’s degree at his alma mater. He has not only achieved his personal goals, but he also inspired his younger siblings to enrich their education through TGR Learning Lab programs.
The foundation’s Learning Lab is based in Anaheim, Calif. (Courtesy of TGR Foundation)
AE: How can more youth from under-resourced communities receive access to education and be encouraged to take advantage of programs like those provided by TGR Foundation?
Mrs. Court: Forming strong relationships with the communities we serve, local school systems, educators, and other community-based organizations has allowed TGR Foundation to serve thousands of youth through our educational programs and enrichment activities each year. We have also extended our reach by providing professional learning to teachers across the country.
Additionally, TGR Foundation is in the process of expanding our physical footprint. We are opening new TGR Learning Labs in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and Los Angeles, California, in 2025 and 2026, respectively. The new locations will allow us to provide significantly more youth with educational programs tailored to their specific needs. For example, only 6 percent of the students enrolled at the 42 Philadelphian public schools located within a 3-mile radius of our forthcoming TGR Learning Lab achieved proficiency in math on state assessments. We are already offering math tutoring at local schools to start addressing the need for educational enrichment.
Elementary school students learn about forensic science by solving a simulated jewelry heist. (Courtesy of TGR Foundation)
AE: What is the greatest challenge TGR Foundation faces heading into 2024? What direction does TGR Foundation wish to take going forward to achieve greater success for the next 25 years?
Mrs. Court: The footprint of TGR Foundation will have tripled in size once the TGR Learning Labs in Philadelphia and Los Angeles open. Executing this expansion will be a significant challenge for the organization, but an important first step towards serving significantly more youth from under-resourced communities. This is a pivotal moment for TGR Foundation, and I am excited to help actualize our vision: a world where opportunity is universal and potential is limitless.
AE: What is it like to work with Mr. Woods? Any examples of a shining moment so far?
Mrs. Court: I recently spent an entire morning with Tiger on a practice green strategizing about a sustainable growth strategy for the organization. After a considerable amount of time discussing strategic direction, Tiger took a moment to stress that the most important thing to him was the quality of our educational programming and the impact we are having on each individual life. He is deeply committed to helping students pursue their passions through education.
I also witnessed some terrific chip shots that morning.
Children get to explore STEM subjects at the Learning Lab. (Courtesy of TGR Foundation)
AE: Mr. Woods, of all your incredible successes, which milestone (personally and professionally) are you the proudest of, or do you feel is the best accomplishment thus far?
Tiger Woods: The legacy we’re building at TGR Foundation is going to outlive me, and it’s one that’s bigger than what I’ve done on the golf course.
AE: How has your vision for TGR Foundation impacted youth since its inception?
Mr. Woods: When I was a kid, my parents instilled a simple principle in my life: Try to make an impact in one person’s life, every day. At TGR Foundation, we are doing just that, making a meaningful impact on the lives of youth one day at a time. We believe that everyone can be a champion.
Jamie Kern Lima is a pro at rejection—getting rejected, that is. Each time an investor or potential business partner said no, it felt like proof that her dreams were not worth it. But at her lowest moment, she realized that she could choose to celebrate those rejections instead.
With her company on the brink of bankruptcy, Ms. Kern Lima began doing research on successful entrepreneurs. “Every person I admired most, who’s built great businesses or changed the world or impacted humanity, … every single one of them has gone through so many rejections. They’re just the brave ones, willing to keep going forward anyways. And I decided to create this new definition of rejection,” she said. “I trained myself to celebrate … and go, ‘Oh, this is a reminder, I’m one of the brave ones willing to go for it. I’m not sitting on the sidelines of life, living in regret.’”
Today, she teaches others how to transcend their setbacks, drawing from her own experiences of building her cosmetics brand IT Cosmetics, which eventually got sold to L’Oreal for $1.2 billion in 2016, the French beauty behemoth’s largest acquisition at the time. Her forthcoming book to be released in February, “Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life,” teaches concrete steps to build strong self-worth: something she believes can give people the ultimate sense of fulfillment. She wants to pass on these lessons so that people don’t miss out on valuable experiences.
(Courtesy of Jamie Kern Lima)
“What has self-doubt already cost you in your life? And go by category: in your career, in your relationships, in your joy of simply looking in the mirror? … We are worthy of love and belonging exactly as we are—not as we achieve, not as how much of the world’s definition of success we have, but exactly as we are,” she said.
What Is Self-Worth?
She illustrates the point with an anecdote. Years ago, after her company had already become successful, she had the opportunity to meet media personality Oprah Winfrey. After having lunch together, Oprah left her phone number and said to Ms. Kern Lima that she could call her anytime. But it took Ms. Kern Lima more than four years to get the courage to reach out to Oprah.
“I would tell myself stories like, once I think of the right thing to say, then I’m going to call her, or everyone probably just wants something from her, I’m going to prove I don’t need anything.” Then one day, she realized the real reason she hadn’t called her. “Deep down inside at my core, … I didn’t think I was worthy of being her friend. And so I sabotaged the opportunity,” she reflected. This was the moment she began digging deeper into the topic of self-worth.
(Courtesy of Jamie Kern Lima)
Don’t Let Mistakes Define You
Ms. Kern Lima outlines ways to reframe one’s thinking. Many people struggle with letting their past mistakes define them. “They’ve gone through past failures and rejections, and they’ve assigned a meaning to them that is so painful, they just stay stuck.” She urges people to remove that emotional association and instead look at each situation rationally. “What is the meaning we told it? What is the story we told ourselves about it? What’s actually the truth about it?” She suggests then finding a new definition to the meaning of rejection: something you must believe to be true. For Ms. Kern Lima, it was her belief that each rejection was just God’s way of protecting her from something that was not part of her destiny.
(From L to R) Adam, Lillian, and Katherine Parker are unexpected ambassadors for a millennia-old Chinese art form. (Samira Bouaou)
A “white Mulan?” That’s weird, they bluntly told her.
Katherine Parker, an award-winning dancer with Shen Yun Performing Arts, the world’s premier classical Chinese dance company, recalled the first time that she portrayed a historical figure in a dance. For a local competition, she wanted to tell the story of Hua Mulan, the courageous heroine of one of ancient China’s best-known legends. Despite her reservations, she decided to press on.
As the legend goes, Mulan disguises herself as a man to go to war in place of her elderly father—thereby saving his life. By imperial decree, one man from every family had to serve.
She fights for 12 years on the frontlines. The dance meant to capture her thrilling moments on the battlefield—but more than that, to tap into an internal struggle. The fast-paced battle music gives way to a slower melody, and the audience gets a glimpse of Mulan’s thoughts.
“Throughout the piece, Mulan is simultaneously waging an inner battle,” Katherine explained. “She longs to return home to her father, but she must remain where she is and fight in a bloody war. The irony of her predicament is that she wishes to take care of her father more than anything, but for his sake, she cannot return to him. I feel this dance highlights Mulan’s filial piety and selflessness.”
Katherine does the “kong hou tui” move, which requires holding the back leg high. (Samira Bouaou)
Katherine knew that capturing that emotional complexity was crucial to the success of her performance.
“I generally tend to hold back, and automatically close myself off a bit when standing in front of an audience. Often, I doubt myself,” she said. “And the moment I hesitate, the performance falls to pieces, because I am no longer in character—I am just being my old self.”
To prepare, she repeatedly listened to the music in her free time.
“I would sit there with my eyes closed and visualize Mulan’s story playing out in my mind, in sync with the music. I would imagine the battlefield, the war cries, and the hoof beats of galloping horses. When the softer, sadder music began, I would focus more on Mulan’s emotions and the heart-wrenching sorrow of being separated from her father.”
The dance was a success: She won gold.
The following year, her growth became apparent on a grander stage. At NTD’s 10th International Classical Chinese Dance Competition in 2023, she portrayed another great Chinese heroine, Lady Wang Zhaojun, who chose to marry the leader of a northern nomadic tribe to prevent war, leaving behind her beloved homeland and family in an act of selfless sacrifice. For her moving performance, Katherine took home a silver medal.
Katherine won a silver medal in the junior division at the International Classical Chinese Dance Competition in 2023 for her dance piece portraying Wang Zhaojun, a historical figure in ancient China who married the leader of a nomadic tribe in order to prevent war from breaking out. (Larry Dye)
On the same stage that year, her older sister, Lillian, and younger brother, Adam, won silver and gold in their respective divisions.
The secret to their triple win? The siblings point to years of honing not only their craft but also their moral character—the true key, they say, to artistic excellence of the highest level and a core tenet of this millennia-old art form.
Based in upstate New York, Shen Yun was established with a mission to revive 5,000 years of true, traditional Chinese culture, a glorious heritage that was nearly destroyed under communist rule. The company’s eight troupes tour internationally each year, and its elite performers hail from around the world—from America, Europe, Asia, and Australia.
It’s a distinctly Chinese art form, but one that has resonated with people from all walks of life. Whether it be a daughter’s devotion to her father or a patriot’s sacrifice for country, the values portrayed are universal; its power to connect transcends boundaries.
“Dance is a language without words,” Lillian said.
Foundations of Family and Faith
A uniquely expressive art form, with roots tracing back to martial arts and Chinese opera and theater, classical Chinese dance has the power to depict an endless spectrum of stories and emotions. The Parker siblings were captivated by it from a young age.
Growing up in multicultural Toronto, Canada, their family made a tradition of seeing Shen Yun when it came to their city each year.
“We would all get dressed up, and we’d be bouncing in our seats, waiting for the show to start, so excited,” Katherine recalled. “When the curtain opens, it’s just magnificent. It blew our tiny little minds.”
Their parents, Andrew and Christine Parker, signed them up for classical Chinese dance classes when Lillian was 6, Katherine 4 1/2, and Adam 3.
“They had an interest in cultural dance, and they just loved it,” Andrew said.
Such early immersion in the arts was part of his and his wife’s vision to “have a traditional lifestyle for the children,” Andrew said.
“We wanted to fill them with as many wholesome and positive things that we could,” he said.
They sought out traditional values from different cultures, finding inspiration in the moral foundations of both Western and Chinese civilization, what “people in the past used to think of as virtuous, or good.”
“Honor, integrity, loyalty, honesty, good old-fashioned hard work, kindness—these were the things that we wanted to pass on to the children. These are what people traditionally refer to as the God-given values, or maybe in Chinese culture, they’d say the divinely bestowed values,” he said. “I believe [these values] are what actually make people feel whole and feel good on the inside, not necessarily the modern values that are promoted nowadays.”
An avid student of the classical art of storytelling, Andrew regaled them with tales, one of Adam’s most vivid childhood memories.
“Some parents might tell their kids stories to entertain them, but whenever [my dad] tells a story, there’s always a moral behind it,” Adam said.
The whole family enjoyed music, so Andrew would often set his story to a tune—such as one of the “Star Wars” soundtracks—describing the action of a scene as it unfolded to the score. (“He watched the movies so many times, he memorized all the scenes,” Lillian explained.)
Looking back, Lillian realized how that helped set an early foundation for her dancing career.
“We’re hearing the storytelling, and the moral of the story, but at the same time, connecting with the emotions in the music … how the music is bringing out the emotion. Now, whenever I listen to music, I’m automatically thinking of dance moves, or a story or a character starts forming,” Lillian said.
Like their parents, the Parker siblings practice the Chinese spiritual discipline of Falun Dafa. Based on the principles of truthfulness, compassion, and tolerance, with an emphasis on refining moral character, the practice fostered a harmonious family life—and set the foundation for a sort of rectitude and grit that would continue to drive the siblings beyond childhood.
“It’s like the root—it shaped us a lot,” Lillian said.
At home, the siblings nurtured rich, creative lives, too. Aside from the occasional family movie night, their parents kept a screen-free house—no TV, no video games. As a result, the kids were naturally drawn to books, the arts, and other creative activities to fill their time.
“I’m grateful to our parents for that,” Katherine reflected. “A lot of kids are in their own box with this technology, and it can really suck you in. Staying separate from that, we could learn.”
They devoured books, from “The Lord of the Rings” and “The Chronicles of Narnia” to Nancy Drew and ”The Hardy Boys.” Lillian, an aspiring novelist, wrote stories of her own. They created their own clubs and crafted mailboxes out of cereal boxes to leave at each other’s doors.
Most memorably, they put on an annual Christmas show for a captive audience of parents, grandparents, and stuffed animals, complete with original dance choreography, music, lighting, costumes, tickets, a security guard (5-year-old Adam), and a rotating emcee. It was influenced, no doubt, by the format of a Shen Yun performance.
So while the Parkers had no expectations for their children to pursue Chinese dance professionally, it hardly came as a surprise when they did. When Lillian was 12, after watching the annual Shen Yun performance, there came an opportunity to audition for Fei Tian Academy of the Arts, which teaches classical Chinese dance, the primary art form of Shen Yun. She decided to try out, especially moved by how Shen Yun uses the art form to tell an important story on stage: the modern-day plight of her fellow Falun Dafa adherents in China amidst the brutal persecution of the faith by the ruling communist regime since 1999. Exposing the persecution is something that “no other performing arts companies are doing,” she said, “and that’s very meaningful. That’s not an opportunity you can find elsewhere.”
The family relocated to New York to support Lilian’s studies, and one by one, Katherine and Adam followed in their sister’s footsteps.
“[Lillian] auditioned at the school and got in, and then [Katherine] did too,” Adam said, so the next step was only natural. “I mean, I had to try out,” he said, smiling. “Everything was preparing me for that moment.”
Dancing in Chinese
Still, they were unprepared for other aspects, such as the rigors of classical dance training—with challenges understanding what their Chinese-speaking dance teachers were saying.
Learning the language was just the beginning; trickier was parsing the hidden layers of meaning beneath the surface, due to cultural differences in communication styles and etiquette.
“Westerners are very direct—what I say, that’s what I mean,” Lillian said. Chinese people, on the other hand, place value on self-restraint and thus “always hold something back.”
The differences spill over into the language of dance. She’s been told by dance teachers that her movements often look “very frank, very ‘Ba-bam! I’m here!’” she said. Classical Chinese dance, however, calls for a sort of restraint, a tension behind each move, a unique feeling built into the principles that underlie and define the art form. A hero character striking a pose facing the audience, for instance, would never hold his shoulders and hips square and stiff, but instead perhaps twist an opposite shoulder and hip toward one another, in a more dynamic stance. Or take the movement of bringing an arm up and over one’s head: Rather than straight and rigid, the movement would be rounded and pulled back at the edges, as if painting a rainbow with a brush, following the art form’s emphasis on roundness.
“Every part of your body [has] that feeling, … to the point where it’s a look in your eyes,” Lillian said. “That’s what draws in an audience.”
They often lean on each other for support: At weekly “Parker Council” meetings, they swap videos of their practice sessions and advice for improvement. They found that they not only think and feel similarly, but also hit similar roadblocks in dance. One sibling could thus help another translate confusing feedback from a teacher, as Katherine put it with a smile, “into Parker language.”
Adam performs one of the many technically difficult flips found in classical Chinese dance. (Samira Bouaou)
Universal Values
A crucial component of their training takes place outside the dance studio, in the classroom: Students at Fei Tian study, among other subjects, Chinese history, its rich repertoire of stories and legends, to understand the values that form the foundation of the culture—and inform every movement of the art form. The Parkers found the same universal virtues they’d grown up with in Western culture—faith, loyalty, integrity, kindness—but embedded at a deeper level.
“China’s had 5,000 years for those values to sink into the Chinese people’s hearts,” Adam said.
To be able to experience and take part in reviving such a rich heritage is “just so precious,” Katherine said. What struck her most was how firmly so many figures in Chinese history held to their moral convictions.
“They’re going to do the thing that they believe is right, no matter what the consequences are. It’s part of who they are, so they will give up everything for it—even their life. And it wasn’t just one or two people, but the society as a whole,” she said.
On stage, they channel these ancient figures—whether a palace maiden, an imperial scholar, or Mulan on the battlefield.
“One of the biggest changes for me as an artist was acquiring the ability to really get into character and feel whatever the character would be feeling,” Adam said. “There’s a saying we use in dance: ‘To move the audience, you have to first move yourself.’”
Imbuing every movement with genuine emotion, “the audience will actually be able to feel it, even if they’re really far away,” he said.
Being able to convey these values to the audience is key to capturing the essence of classical Chinese dance. Beyond the demanding technical skill required, to truly be a great dancer, “you have to be a good person,” Lillian said. “And then, you have to want to express or share those values through dance.”
Training in Chinese dance, like all the classical arts, inherently shapes dancers into better people, she pointed out, building self-discipline and the ability to persevere through physical and mental hardship. Maintaining the right mindset over the long run, always striving to be better without being discouraged, is one of the hardest parts, Lillian said.
A teacher once gave her a piece of advice that stuck with her: “Don’t be afraid of not being good. Just be afraid of not improving.” She resolved to focus on her potential to improve, on how much better she could get every day, “instead of being afraid of making mistakes.” She reminds herself: “Everything that’s hard is the root of something that will be great later—this is something that is going to make me into a better person or a better dancer. You see it as what it actually is—a tool to help you grow, even though it’s hard to go through.”
The siblings have also internalized lessons from the historical characters they’ve studied and portrayed. After they started their dance training, their father noticed profound changes in their character—most notably, that they had all grown more selfless.
“They’ve truly benefited from these traditional values and ancient virtues from Chinese culture,” Andrew said, “and because they’ve benefited from it so much, they truly have a sincere wish to share it with others. I think this is one of the main reasons why they can work so hard. … It requires a very noble spirit and a very pure heart; otherwise, you just can’t endure that much rigorous work.”
Lillian sees their art as having a higher purpose.
“Aristotle believed that one of the reasons people should learn music is to upgrade their moral values. By listening to good music, you’re learning how to enjoy something that is noble and something that is upright, and therefore, you are making yourself a better person,” she said.
Dance, she says, is the same.
“You should be giving out upright energy; the message you’re sending to the audience should be a positive, upright message,” she said.
She hopes audience members leave feeling uplifted and inspired to strive for goodness.
For Katherine, it makes everything worth it in the end.
“You know you’re doing something that’s just very special,” she said. “Not everybody gets the opportunity to be a part of something so remarkable.”
This article was originally published in American Essence, Vol. 4 Issue 1, Jan.-Feb. Edition.
“I know for a lot of families, Christmas means a roast, but in my neighborhood, Ebenezer Scrooge wouldn’t be giving out a grand turkey. He’d be giving out tamales,” said Danny Trejo. “To me, Christmas has always meant a full table of tamales.”
The legendary “Machete” star might be most recognizable from his villainous, tough-guy roles on-screen—but he also makes a mean chef. Food and hospitality have always played a major role in the actor-turned-entrepreneur’s life, and Mr. Trejo now has a growing restaurant empire that spans multiple locations of Trejo’s Tacos, Trejo’s Cantina, and Trejo’s Coffee and Donuts in Los Angeles; and two cookbooks, “Trejo’s Tacos” and “Trejo’s Cantina.” He shared a recipe from his latest.
“If you’ve never made tamales because you think they’re difficult, this recipe will change your mind,” he writes. “With just an hour of prep, you’ll have two dozen fluffy, amazing tamales to eat for dinner, lunch the next day, with leftovers to freeze and eat down the road.” His recipe uses a classic cheese and chile filling, but he says it works well with other fillings, too: Try chicken or jackfruit tinga, or beef birria.
(Hernan Rodriguez)
Super-Easy Tamales
Makes 30 tamales
30 dried corn husks
1 1/2 cups olive oil
10 cups (2 pounds) masa harina, such as King Arthur
2 (10-ounce) cans roasted chiles, such as Hatch, roughly chopped
Soak the corn husks in a large bowl filled with water until soft, about 1 hour. Place a few cans of beans on top to keep them submerged.
In another large bowl, combine the olive oil, masa harina, baking powder, salt, and broth. Mix with your hands until a pliable dough forms. Knead until smooth, 3 to 5 minutes.
Place a corn husk on a cutting board with the wide end toward you. Using a large spoon, spread 1/4 cup of dough in the center. Shape it into a rough round about 4 inches in diameter. Place 2 tablespoons of cheese lengthwise in the center of the dough. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of chiles on top of the cheese.
Lift the two sides of the corn husk in toward the center like a book so the two sides of masa meet and cover the filling; then, holding the excess corn husk together, fold and wrap it to one side around the tamale. Fold the top and bottom ends over the tamale and turn it over to hold the folded sides down. Repeat until you have about 30 tamales.
In a large pot fitted with a steamer basket, add enough water to just come up to the level of the steamer basket. Working in batches, arrange the tamales vertically in the steamer basket and turn the heat to medium. Once the water starts to steam, cover the basket and cook until the tamales are fluffy and tender and the cheese is melted, from 30 minutes to 1 hour, depending on how many you cook at a time. The tamales are super tender when they come out of the basket, but will firm up as they sit. Let them cool for 30 minutes before serving. You can also let the tamales completely cool and freeze for up to 1 month.
(Penguin Random House, LLC)
Reprinted with permission from “Trejo’s Cantina” by Danny Trejo with Hugh Carvey, copyright 2023. Photographs by Larchmont Hospitality Group LLC. Published by Clarkson Potter, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC.
Ms. Hanson said it
took her a lifetime
to learn how to not
succumb to external
pressure. (Diana De Lange)
Amanda Hanson, clinical psychologist, author, therapist, and one of the most influential voices in the world of personal development and coaching for women—thanks in no small part to her @midlife.muse Instagram, YouTube channel, and 56-episode Revolutionizing Midlife podcast—was busy planning her upcoming retreat when we spoke in early fall.
An international group of women, for whom true love had thus far remained a painfully elusive dream, had signed up for the four-day course, and Ms. Hanson was going through their emails to see what they each hoped to achieve. The answer was unanimous: to find love. But here’s the thing, the women weren’t seeking advice on how to fall in love with another person: No, what they wanted was to fall in love with themselves. Each one was battling her own worst enemy—herself—and was looking for a way to silence the voice that had always told her she wasn’t this or that enough, that she had failed to do or be something more; and replace it with one that always showed her compassion, respect, and kindness.
“Women’s inability to love, honor, and value themselves is a global crisis,” said Ms. Hanson. “It transcends nationality, and age, and social demographic. … I want to help women break free from certain misery patterns, such as seeking validation and approval from others, and always putting others’ needs before their own. I want to pass on what I’ve learned—that all the love we need, all the appreciation we need, all the recognition we need, is rooted within us.”
Ms. Hanson believes in looking to ancient civilizations for inspiration on healing practices (Diana De Lange)
Supporting Women’s Journeys
Ms. Hanson, who turned 51 in November, didn’t always specialize in women and midlife. She earned her doctorate at Alliant International University in California (formerly the California School of Professional Psychology) and has worked with people with schizophrenia, AIDS sufferers, those ravaged by Alzheimer’s, and children in orphanages.
Gradually, though, she found herself drawn more and more to coaching women and quickly saw that many were struggling with the same issues: an inability to self-love; a propensity only to feel of value when serving others; a fear of aging. “That was really my spur,” she said. “My therapy sessions were filled with intelligent, personable, successful, attractive women, … yet even so, each one was being thwarted—professionally, romantically—by their inability to love themselves, coupled with a perception that growing older equaled loss. Not one of them viewed middle and older life as new chapters rich with opportunity. Instead, they saw one door after another closing.” Ms. Hanson wanted to show them that those doors were ready to be kicked open.
So how does she do that? It’s not a quick fix, but rather a lifelong process, beginning with learning to be unruffled by external pressures—especially those messages by advertisers that convey that self-esteem can come from one’s possessions. “It can’t. It can only come from within. Looking out, comparing yourself to others, thinking about how you measure up, will always block your progress to loving yourself. Try to switch off, or, at least, quieten the messages that are trying to sell stuff to you—whether it’s a bag they insist you need, or a cream that will make you look younger and more beautiful. Radiance does not come from your skincare routine; it comes from how you feel, how you think, how abundant your heart is,” she said.
(Diana De Lange)
Ms. Hanson, who is completely unaltered—she leaves the silver that threads through her hair showing—would like to see more women taking pride in the changes that aging brings. That feeling, she said, starts with acceptance. “Older age is viewed as an enemy that must be conquered with anti-aging products and even surgery. Think about those words for a minute: anti-aging. We should be pro-aging, because not to age is unnatural. Can you imagine a world in which nothing fades?” For Ms. Hanson, middle and older age is a “glorious and spiritual time, which can deliver renewed purpose, fulfillment, and rewards,” adding that the journey of self-discovery can be “the most beautiful and uplifting rite of passage.”
She would like to lead a revolution so that society celebrates older women, as ancient civilizations did. Indeed, she has looked to those civilizations for guidance on how to become a more effective healer. “I realized that psychologists, myself included, were missing something when treating women. Women have different mental health issues, and some of these can be eased by going back to how our ancestors healed and incorporating some of their practices, such as dance and purification,” she said.
(Diana De Lange)
Sisterly Bonds
In her groups and retreats, she also harnesses the power of two other forces: sisterhood and rituals. “When women come together, they very quickly begin to heal each other and themselves. … There is this incredible, palpable, contagious energy that comes from a room full of women offering each other support and compassion and communing. They inspire each other, they cheerlead each other, and in so doing, they nurture themselves. The only word I can use to describe that level of unity is magic.”
Her other foundational resource is ritualization, which she says is a highly effective way to achieve change. “Ritualizing actions imbues them with a significance and meaning that goes far beyond the habitual. They are a way of checking in with ourselves, of taking a few minutes to slow things down and to center our being,” she said. One of her favorite rituals is to look at herself in the mirror for three minutes every morning. “The action is totally without judgment. It is not to critique, but to reach into my being and to notice myself. It’s a gentle acknowledgment that I am present for myself, that I accept everything about myself and that it is my intention to do the best for myself that day.” She suggests starting with 90 seconds, and then building up to three minutes.
(Diana De Lange)
What also sets her apart from many—indeed probably most—therapists, is her belief that there is more to be gained by revealing her own vulnerabilities to the groups she works with than by hiding her own self behind an impenetrable carapace. “I’m human; I’ve had my difficulties; I’ve doubted myself; I have had family problems. I use my own experience and my own vulnerabilities to steward my groups, because I believe that true healing lives in vulnerability, in tapping into our fears and anxieties, not bricking them in in an attempted show of strength,” she said.
Ms. Hanson describes her therapy modus operandi as “front-facing” and confessional. “I’ll say, ‘This was me then, and this is me now, and this is how I got here,’” she explained. She noted that she is able to guide her clients because she went on that journey herself, “where you realize that the only approval you need is your own.”
